The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 17

It is a better day. I wake up rested. Not Zasta tho. He’s tired today. He’s very ubby. Nice to be around – not cranky but very, very ubby.

We get ready and check out of the Big Horn. They’re so nice there. Anya the cleaning girl is very sweet. We walk over to the restaurant that’s attached to the Husky and have a straight up eggs breakfast. Nice. It’s not anticipated to be anything but good and it is. They know breakfast.

We move out and on to Lake Louise. We have two missions. One to see if Kate the Australian girl will actually leave and come with us to Winnipeg being our merch girl and two, to do the interview between Jon and Schrecker for Elite guitars.

We drive to where Kate works. We walk in and she is more than happy to see us! Yay! She says, jokingly, “Let me go quit my job”. Ha! That would have been sooo fucking cool if she did. Anyway, I totally understand her position. And she scolds me for not emailing her when we were coming back? She could have gotten ready. Obviously she was not expecting me to be a man of my word. But who can blame her? Their aren’t too many pirates around anymore. We give her our cell number because she has to work. So we go up to the Lake do the interview.

We drive up to the Chateau Lake Louise. By now we know the place and are at home. We grab our guitars, cameras and flip cams (like life savers these things be- arh!) and head over to the beautiful teal Lake.

We find the same spot we were at last time. The sun was shining bright and the water was so perfectly teal blue. You couldn’t have wished for anything better. Jon and I take out our guitars, mine I call Kate, after my Australian friend, and Jon calls his…. ($*#%(*)

We go and sit on the rocks and do the interview (see vid). Honestly, I really like my guitar named Kate. She is pretty and is an extension of my subconscious.

We sit at the lake for a good long time. Get our pics taken (see pics) and just look at each other and wonder, because this is the shit tour. It will only go up from here. And here is Lake Louise. We’re either between the legs of nature or a beautiful girl. It’s really quite a life. How can it get any better? But inside me – I know it certainly can.

We go to the Lake Louise Hotel and sit out at the primo table and have the GREATEST Nachos ever! Alex has a Big Rock Grasshopper, Zasta has the same. I have a Jack (big surprise) and Jon has a Coors light bottle. We toast to being alive, being there and being The Gods Of Now. It’s a fine moment.

Tamra and Tad, two American people here to do business in Calgary (bricks no less – Tad says that Bricks are a lasting commodity – if they’re in the Great Wall of China, then that means they must last. He’s got a point). They talk to us about the road, the band and what we are about. They buy a CD from us and get our autographs. It’s for their son. That’s cool. I just tell them to look at the poster before they let him. Their are some very suggestive pics on there. He’s young. Let’s not destroy him before he’s ready.

We pay and leave. What a fucking amazing afternoon!

We go to see what’s up with Kate and at the same time feed the Banyion. She’s almost dry and needs more.

I go and pay and as I come out there she is. Kate. Geeze this girl is beautiful tho. We say hello and then decide to go for a drink at her place. We all pile in the Banyion and head over to the Servant’s Quarters – oh I know, it’s the staff housing but it’s way funnier to call it this!

So we appear at her place and it’s very big and very spacious. It’s very comfy as far as I can see. She has a killer back yard view. Mountains and a river – great! I’m drinking. What? All together now – Jack! Kate’s drinking Vodka. No one else is really drinking anything – except Jon who really has a hard time saying no to anything alcoholic these days (It’s a joke, don’t worry, we’ve got your boy safe and sound) – he’s drinking a beer. Kate wants to hear our music so we bring in a CD and she puts it on, not at her place but at a friend’s place, next door. Two guys, one is from Quebec – great! Hi, heys and so on. And then two other guys show up – oops – too much sausage for TGON. Zasta looks at me and gives me the look that says so. I say, “Where are all the girls in this fucking place?”. No answer. So then it’s time to go. But I like Kate. I don’t want to leave her just yet. I think she has something to tell me and I want to know what it is.

So I ask her to take us to someplace around here in Lake Louise to eat – but not expensive. It’s a tall order but our Kate comes through. She brings us to the Lake Louise Inn. Upstairs. Stay away from the pasta we were told. So we did and had Calzones and Salads. It was very, very good. And not too expensive either.

While there I felt abandoned quite early in the meal. I understood very quickly that Kate has decided that I’m not a good man. It’s strange why this matters to me. I neither know her, nor do I feel that we will ever be friends even though I was hoping so. Maybe this is what I came here for: to feel that a person who I genuinely liked (for no other reason than she was exciting, funny, hot and a fellow traveler – and was a good drinker) really doesn’t like me. This is rare. Most everyone thinks I have something to offer. Kate just keeps looking at me (when she does) and says, “I don’t know how you can be like that”. Well, I might be a fuck up. But at least I’m trying to change. I tell her so. I don’t know why I do. This is something I don’t share with anyone. You can think what you want of me. I don’t care. But our Kate…I don’t know why I wanted to explain myself to her. I never do.

I leave. I can’t stay around this. And it’s not because it affects me negatively. It’s because it’s a waste of time now. (I’m in the bathroom asking Zasta for the keys and he says “You’re not uncomfortable because of us, are you?” (he means the band) Oh my god no! I tell him. My band has seen and heard far worse from me than this. I would share anything with them. I trust them completely. He knew this before I tell him. It really is that this catharsis was unwanted and unlooked for and is highly personal. I didn’t feel it was the time or the place.

I received what I came here for – and now the road is waiting. I want to move on. I was gifted a punch in the face, psychologically speaking. And from a sweet Australian girl at that. I’m glad it was her. It’s why I named my guitar Kate. I was looking for her name for a long time. I found it in Lake Louise. If the one you choose doesn’t fit, it’s not the right one. Kate is the perfect name for this guitar.

My band is quickly behind me, ready to go. I never have to worry about my band. They are more supportive of me than any support group I could ever have. What’s more, they accept me. They might even like me but you’d have to ask them. Ha!

We take Kate down the road to her house. We drop her off and she says good-bye to everyone. Then she opens my door and says good-bye to me, asks me if I’m alright. I say I’m fine. I am. I unfortunately have no attachment to her. I say goodbye. She pushes me away harshly and says, “What is your problem?” And leaves. I watch her the whole time, knowing that I’m not a good man in her eyes. Not a good man at all.

What is my problem? Ahhh, that is the question my dear Kate. What is my problem?. I have so many. All I want to do is connect with people. Be normal like everyone else. Get a job. I want to go to bed at home. I want to have friends. I want to watch TV. I want to be happy. How about that?

And if you can fucking tell me that you are actually happy – go ahead and fucking throw all the fucking stones you want. I’d love to be killed like that! Drilled by a stone in the side of the head, thrown by happy people – preferably from Australia because I have such a soft spot for Australians. I still do – sweetest accent ever! And in Kate’s case – a compete knock-out.

But I’m not worried. No stones are going to be coming my way. Because none of us are happy are we? We go from peak to valley and valley to peak (how about that for a mountain metaphor) having a window open every once and a while that lets us know what it might be like if we were happy… What it might be like if we were stronger, or better, or thinner or nicer or well, just well in ourselves.

Lemme ask you something? What are you running from? I mean it.

Just tell me. What are all of you running from? I’m running from a whole shit load of things…

• Mediocrity
• Passiveness
• Ambivalence
• Love
• Safety
• Morality
• Responsibility
• Maturity

And that’s just a little tiny short list. I could spend a book writing on everyone of those. In fact, Broken, by The Gods Of Now is written, in part, because of this…

Now, I’m sitting beside Zasta as he drives the Banyion on to Medicine Hat Alberta. Running. Running from where I was to where I’m going. Running from who I am to who I’m going to be. Running straight into hell, trying to raise it so we don’t have to go so far.

So? What are you running from?

Somewhat Related Entries

• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 10
• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 2
• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 21
• The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 24
• Welcome!