The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 16

I wake up. I’m not rested. Neither are Zasta, Jon or Alex. Someone was breathing like a coked up semi-trailer. It wasn’t me. Everyone else denies it too.

I need to make arrangements to stable the Banyion. She’s hurting and needs to be groomed and shoed. And somehow kick started into her regular fiery burning motion.

I call CAA.

CAA sends the Big Truck. I like these ones. They’re sort of the aircraft carriers of the road. Take offs and landings with winches. Who the fuck doesn’t love winches? You can pull stumps out with ‘em!

We’re all there as the CAA guy checks things out. He tightens the batter terminals and gives the Banyion a bit of her favorite Jack. IT STARTS!!!! Holly the Hot Mechanic did say it would be intermittent.

The band is hungry so they go off in search of food. They carry spears and knives looking for any egg lay or batter fried creature to devour. I stay behind to wait for The Battery Specialists who are supposed to come in 90 minutes.

I sit in the sunshine looking like I’m in a kick ass Rock band and have been drinking too much. Blue jeans, boots, red shirt and skull belt buckle. Every once and a while I go in to the Hotel to talk to Laura. Find out she’s gonna be starting Nursing School. Then I go back out and wait with the Banyion. Eventually I shut the Banyion down. I cross my fingers and say a prayer my goddess and then crank the key. The Banyion fires up on the command. Fuck the Battery Specialists – It’s 2 o’clock in the after noon and I still haven’t eaten or gotten my morning coffee.

I find Alex, Jon and Zasta in Denny’s. They’re finished but they watch me scarf down my breakfast/late lunch.

Jon reminds us: “You’re not allowed to sell that here!” Said one of the Fuckers in Calgary.

Calgary Madness Fantasy #1

Someone tries to serve you breakfast. You grab your barbed wire bound baseball bat and start wailing on them shouting “You’re not allowed!”

Some one gets curt with you. “You interrupted me!” Smack down! Ka-banff! “You ain’t allowed muthafucka!”

Someone asks you where the washroom is. “Where’s the..” Blam! Blamblamblamblamblam! You shoot ‘em were they stand! “Not today! BANFFFF! I’m out!”

End Calgary Madness #1

I pay. We leave. I figure I can drive for a bit even though I’m tired. But first it’s to the West Edmonton Mall to, once again to wallow in the wickedness of promiscuous consumerism. Getting fucked by one boutique after the next.

Always a good time at the mall. I go and buy what I need and then we get the hell outta there!

Halfway down the 2 south my eyes won’t focus so I hand it over to Zasta. I fall asleep as soon as I’m in the shot-gun chair.

We need to eat so we go to a place called Mojave Bar and Grill in Red Deer. Where the hell do these girls come from?? They are all tall and gorgeous. Legs that won’t quit and bodies that won’t let you! Food and girls! Two very great things to have in the same room!

I have the Prawn Salad with Japanese Noodles. It was fresh and delicious. It comes with a little muffin which I find out with a bite is corn bread. Delicious! Alex has the chilli. I’m sure it’s good but he has to complain about something so I think his bowl wasn’t round enough or his spoon was too oblong or the water was too murky. But he said it was good. Jon had the Jack Daniel’s Hamburger. He loved it. Kept on licking his lips and saying “I can really taste the Jack.” A surprising amount of girls kept walking by when he was doing this. He was too into his burger to notice. Zasta had a wrap and salad. He liked it. All in all a very good meal. And right on budget. And the girls! Wow! We need to play in Red Deer.

We hit the road again. This time I drive again. Zasta and Alex want to watch Eastern Promises while we close in on Banff. We set it up and the in flight movie begins.

Me and Jon change from Driver to Shot-gun and I watch the rest of the movie with Alex and Zasta while Jon does the drive from Calgary to Banff. Destination the Horny Inn – I mean the Big Horn Inn. We stayed here the last time we went through.

We’re not in the Party Room like last time cuz it’s booked but we have a great room with three beds. I’m falling off my face I’m so tired so I’m going to turn in.

The telephone is a lifeline. If I don’t hear that someone at home “believes in me” – I’m not going to make it through this. My issue with ambivalence is certainly a handicap – but it won’t kill me. My major issue is self-destruction. For many exciting and amazing reasons I want to blast myself into the ether with as many people watching me as possible. If I were to hear – “Leave you’re name and number and we’ll get back to you – beep.” And then “Do you accept the charges?” I wouldn’t make it. But she never sleeps. She waits for my call. Makes sure I’m okay and on track.

And I feel okay. I think I’m going to be even better tomorrow. I’m going to win this if it kills me. And I’ll be fucking dancing on my own grave if that happens. Does that make sense? Am I talking about my subconscious here? That stupid little fuck-prick! Whoa I’m tired.

I’m going to turn in. While Jon is still tapping on his comp.

Goodnight.

Somewhat Related Entries

• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 5
• The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 25
• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 20
• The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 22
• The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 17