Ersatz-Love

Posted by Schrecker » 1 Comment »

I’m marginally interested in Fetish stuff. Not like wanting to get whipped by the heavy ball chains wielded by some Helga wearing a Nazi uniform. Well, not really anyway (I supposed there would be some kind of catharsis evolved there). I’ve pierced my nipples (I had to take them out because of jail but that’s beside the point) and I don’t have an O gauge Prince Albert.

Although I like tattoos I have none. I have instead, more than one scarification (next time you see me you can trace the marks of stigmata on my hands and feet), including my name in Tibetan cut into my leg (a different rock band, a stupid tour; crazy time had by all).

Now, our Alex JD he’s the one who openly wears his interest in dominance and submission – guess which role he divines pleasure from. If you’re right he’ll smack your ass and make you call him daddy. If you’re wrong, he’ll smack your ass and make you call him daddy but you won’t enjoy it. He wins either way though.

Or our Jonathan; you wanna get that boy off, show him a girl with glasses and a pony tail. Make her blonde, and he’ll call you from Cuba next week.

But back to me…

Latex. Yeah. That’s cool. I like seeing girls wear that. Not as much as some I’m sure. But those thigh-high red or white boots that look like a second skin… Ooo, maybe I like it more than I want to admit.

In my other bands I used to wear blue plastic clothing. I should mention also, just to give you a visual picture of all this, I had a platinum blond Mohawk down to my ass (Thanks to Chainsaw from Detroit for that. She was the craziest hairstylist in America. Hope you’re not dead yet).

See, that blue plastic was amazing for the performances I was doing at the time. While I was on stage it reflected the light so much I looked like Lucifer’s bartender or at least his doorman.

But it was not interesting to me from a “get off” perspective. The feel and texture did nothing for me. But it did lead to something interesting…

In Philadelphia, I had just come down from the stage and a particularly energetic show. In fact, I was so hot that there were actual sweat waterfalls coming out of the arms of that blue plastic. It was hard to hold onto the guitar. So I’m walking down the stage stairs when these three girls come up and want only one thing… To wear the blue plastic that was filled with my sweet, sweet, sweat. They put it on one at a time, hugging and wetting themselves (in more ways than one I presume) with my sweat.

-Sigh-

It didn’t do anything for me (except to entertain me for the time they were giving me the little show). But I did thank them for cleaning the sweat from out my blue plastic.

I know I’m just scratching the surface of all of this behaviour – fucking, bondage, orgies, tickling, partner swapping, group sex, teens, big fat dildo, face sitting, zasta blue creature, stargate, very amateur, private forbidden young, everything buttplug, escorts, two girls one cone…

…But it leads me to believe that we’re engaging in ersatz-love. After all, love can hurt more than masturbating your clit with sandpaper or using a cheese grater on your cock. So why do something that hurts so much when there are three girls with willing mouths to “urk, urk, urk” and make you feel like you’re so much more than you are?

“Because you feel awful afterwards. Empty!” You tell me.

Really?

Like you feel after watching TV? Or eating McDonald’s? How about after shopping? Or doing drugs? Alcohol? How about treating pets to spas? Cigars? Cars? Trips to Cancun? (People do realize there are a lot more beautiful places in the world than Cancun right?). Movies? Parties? Driving around downtown with your peeps? Looking in the mirror until you see demon faces? Holding your breath until you pass out? Huffing computer cleaner?

Fuck that.

I say if you feel empty because of any of this you’re not doing it right.

Love is the ultimate couple preoccupation. It takes forever to find and then it hurts like hell to keep.

We’re North Americans! We figuratively eat our own young. We’re lazy. We don’t need love. It’s too hard to deal with. We need an easier, kinder replacement. Like Sweet ‘n Low.

Ersatz-love. You can’t tell the difference from the real thing.

…Except when you’re alone. But that’s why we have porn. And goddamn those girls must love those guys… why else would they do those things??…

Cha-ching!