Connections

Posted by Schrecker » 1 Comment »

Men and women and women and women and men and men and on and on it goes. Sometimes it’s… magic. Sometimes it’s a horror show. But for a brief, shining moment it’s fucking perfect. It was, wasn’t it?

It was fucking perfect for a second.

Passion is always dying, see? That’s its charm. That’s why it’s addictive and that’s why it chose us. The Ashes we are: we, who are also always burning up, dying so wonderfully, consumed by flames of desire and woe. We are so sad and beautiful, aren’t we? What a wake we’ve got going here on our planet.

Fire-fans in the two performers’ hands are hot on my face even though I cannot see them – I feel them, I smell the fuel. Melsha and Sally. They are both dark beauties, gothic and gorgeous. Sally says backstage later, “There’s nothing about me that hasn’t been ripped or broken.” I like her immediately. But right now I try to see through the cowl of my cassock the two lithe female forms, ghosts of my imagination, moving through my journey to passionate death… fire leaping from their fingers. Zasta and I are giving the two women pulse and rhythm and they, in turn, become fucking perfect for one burning moment. (will have a vid soon, but for now here’s a pic below) I can honestly say, I’m happy.

L'Union Du Feu - TGON CD Release Party

7 Days Earlier:

I’m not happy at all. Fuck.
The only thing I know about the launch for sure is that TGON is going to perform the record and there’s some Fetish Acrobats that are interested in performing too. The latter concerns me only in its execution. The concept – a guy rigging up a girl to a pulley system and she basically flies above the stage in a sort of bondage dance – I like.

Now, I try to get either a Tibetan throat-singing group (specifically Monks) or a Cyrillic throat-singing choir (necessarily priests). You’ve heard this kind of music – even if it was just in the movies: huge, low resonating tones emanating from small robed figures. Voices that defy explanation as to how they can create multiple, simultaneous overtones reaching high into the harmonic stratosphere. Incredible. Magical.

Of course, when I planned this, I did, in the back of my damaged mind, remember something about the fact that these kinds of singers are VERY religious and may have a bit of a problem performing with a group of heavy music fuckers, albeit ones with open minds and hearts.

It came as no surprise that the Cyrillic choir (made up of priests) was too religious and the Tibetan Monks… LIVE IN TIBET (actually they live in Hong Kong as they were exiled: so many lines of drama). Neither was an option.

Result: I needed another opening act for The Gods Of Now record launch.

Now, I know most CD launches have bands, usually of like style, opening. But we’re THE GODS OF NOW so that idea is a little fucking rudimentary for me to pursue. Now, you’re saying, “Schrecker, broheim, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” But I’m saying TGON don’t exist in that system (that I sarcastically will point out is working oh so well) so we have to chart our own way… I know something is out there and it just needs to find me while I’m searching for it.

But aside from the mystical mumbo jumbo… listen. Pragmatically speaking, not only is it difficult to find bands that fit with TGON, but actually after listening to two bands of the same kind of music (in this case heavy music), I’m usually done for the night. My idea is to put on something more Cabaret or Vaudevillian in style. I don’t want to tire the audience. I want to entertain them. Keep them spell bound.

6 Days Before The Show:

While I was preoccupado with trying to find a suitable act for the opening… we were on the way to locking up the last part of the show.

The idea was this… TGON would play the whole record live. This is an intense experience for both TGON and the crowd listening to us, so (although I didn’t realize it at the time) Alex, Jon and Zasta had thought that it would be great if the Bondage Acrobats (Maiko and Dunter) would do their thing while the two atmospheric pieces (Sie Haben Nicht Vergessen and Recorded History) that are on the record were being played. Great!

All I needed to do was meet with them, so Alex set up a meeting at my studio a few days later with Maiko and Dunter to talk about what they were going to do and how they would go about doing it.

Now it was time to work out an idea I had about a project that would have Zasta and I just playing percussion… so we had a few rehearsals to see what we’d come up with. Surprise, surprise! It’s fucking amazing.

We asked Jon to come and run the Studio to make a recording of us, so we could listen to make sure we weren’t just creating noise. We were on track. We’re ready.

We still liked the idea of monks so we thought we’d rent cassocks to wear on stage and the bonus would be that people wouldn’t know it was us playing. Oooh, mysterious. We even wanted to print up little pieces of paper saying, “What you are listening to is an accompaniment to your conversation and social event. It is not intentionally a performance, unless you want it to be. But it is up to you.” How vague. Nice.

The next day, AMP calls me into her office. She’s been looking for interesting performers online and came across the L’Union Du Feu, a huge group of fire performers put together by Simon Dragon, fire breather extraordinaire. I check it out. Oh fucking Sweet! Girls dancing with fire! I gotta give this guy a call.

But now I have to pick up the Art Pix. (When you buy the Record there is a poster that comes with it. On the poster are pictures, each representing a song on the record. One of them is causing a controversy. It depicts Alex getting a blowjob from a girl, wearing our hot shorts, while Jon is holding a gun to her head. It is very hardcore in content. It is paired with the song Skeeved. Look it up if you don’t know what it means and then you’ll understand).

Zasta had this great idea after I told him I wanted to blow up the pics. He thought that we should set them up like an art gallery. Nice.

I had them blown up to 3 feet by 4 feet (they look amazing) and had them mounted. There are doubles (not mounted) just in case someone wants to buy them.

Setting Up the Stage on the Day of the Launch:

The fucking load-in really dragged me out. Jon and Zasta had to go to the costumier to get the monks’ robes. That left me and Alex to truck most of the heavy gear up the three flights of stairs at La Sala Rossa. Alex is tired too. But he says he needs food. I’m tweaking because there is SO much to prepare before the show and it’s already 5 pm.

The show is in three hours. Things like this usually don’t get to me, but this time… I feel it’s going to be a good show.

Dunther and Maiko are there. She’s preparing by warming up with stretches and back flips. He’s getting her revved up by stroking her with a very large knife. They look very content. I like them both – but they live in a world of their own.

Zasta and Alex are getting help from David the sound man to put up our brand new banner. It’s amazing and black and shiny. “The Gods Of Now”. Great.

Zasta is fitting it up there with not much more than bungee cords of various lengths and thin patience. He’s doing a great job, while Alex is obsessing that it’s crooked, starving Zasta’s patience even more.

We’re all setting up our TGON gear. We need to get it all fired up so we can do a sound check. Then I’ll set up the percussion and check that. The merch and big art pix have to be set out.

For a moment, I’m aware. I’m not at all alone. I don’t mean in the room, but in life – alone like we are told we must be. Born alone, live alone, die alone. I don’t believe it, not at all. Not at the moment. Beautiful and passionate, like the kiss of love herself. Does anyone see her? Does she really exist? A bright light, a brush of lips, the press of hands. Why must everything perfect be what you don’t have?

I’m stepping down from the stage. My Fender Strat in its flight case – makes a dandy step. I’m surprised by Two Women, one tall the other not as tall. Both are magnetic. Gothic. Evil and pure. Bright eyes and tired too. Where do they come from, women like this? They smile… friendly. Searching for connection.

In my head I hear screaming – “Life ain’t random. It loves, it breathes, it sucks and it blows…”

Both of these hot girls, with no thought to my own wrongly wired psyche, burst into flames. I close my eyes and open them again. 24 frames a second cut to 12. The process just a little too long to be considered a normal motor reflex of the eyelids. But the girls aren’t on fire any more, so it worked.

“… life won’t stop for me or for you or for all of us collectively, even if we ever get our shit together. But It goes baby! Yeah! Life goes and goes! But no way, it ain’t random at all.”
I smile back at them.

“I’m Schrecker.” I say over the screaming in my head.

To Be Continued…

TGON Album Release Party