The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 4

The Osbourn Village Hotel is VERY rock ‘n roll. (see vid)Aside from the Hotel part there is a restaurant (hamburgers and fries type deal) and two salle de spectac. The small one is called Ozzy’s and the big one is called The Zoo. The big room is where the whole complex gets it’s name.

Zasta is sick. He hates being sick and he wears it very plainly. His throat is a mess. Alex has a pretty good headache but it goes away fast. The miracle of drinking Jack. Jon is fine. I’m simmering. We go to a breakfast place called Stella’s. This is a good place. Not only is the Bread Pudding AMAZING but the breakfasts are good. We eat and feel better. We want to rehearse so we do it with just our axes, Zasta plays a chair which actually is quite musical. He bows out for a moment to see if a clinic can check his throat. He comes back soon after without having seen anyone because they didn’t seem to think that Quebec was still part of the Medicare system. So we started playing again. There was a knock at the door and the maids came in. Cute. Hollie wanted to hear the band so we played MAN In A Car. She said that she doesn’t like heavy music but she loved this song.

We go to an internet café. The reception sucks man ass so I can’t do anything. I leave a little after Alex. He’s restless to find out when we load into Ozzy’s, the bar we’re playing tonight. As he leaves the café, a car stops and asks him what time we go on tonight. A good sign. I leave soon after him and go back to the hotel. I stop by a curio shop. There was sooo much junk in it. Marilyn Monroe pictures, Elvis movie posters, old sailor hats and that musty basement smell that goes along with stuff we don’t need anymore. There’s an old guy bring some of the old stuff out to the curb. Irony. Anyway I walk by the till and there’s this red headed girl curling her hair with a curling iron. I connect the two with Schrecker reasoning. Thus the Irony. I go back to the hotel.

I try to sleep a bit. I’m tired – and simmering. It’s about 6 o’clock and time for supper. Subway sandwiches. Not for me. I don’t eat before I play. Never have.

At the Subway a Girl comes out of the back with purple streaks in her hair and a pierced upper lip. Nice body. Later I find out she dances at some club named Sin City. Wow! Making sandwiches and Stripping. Life can be unfair. Poor girl shouldn’t have to be made to make sandwiches for a living.

We go to see what’s happening at Ozzy’s. A band is there all right. But they insist that we’re not playing with them. We go and find out what the hell is going on. There’s some dude who reminds me of a stoned pumpkin standing outside who says “You guys are in TGON! You rock! We’re playing with you tonight!” I ask him where. He says “The Zoo”. We get the big room. Nice – but it is a Tuesday night.

We load in.
Our good friend and collective wingman Tom walks up. Great to see the guy. He’s always a good guy to have around.

Tom helps us set up on stage. It all goes well. Mike the sound guy does a good job. He’s stand off-ish but that doesn’t matter. We check with our usual Wrong But In Throes. It’s huge and sounds like a 747 taking off – excellent!! We clear off for the other bands to do their thing.

I notice there are two woman dressed like they’d be in a Motley Crue video being introduced to TGON by Tom. Kristi and Angie. I say hello, especially to Kristi. Little darlin’. (see pic)

We set up the merch and quickly sell the girls a couple of stickers – one of which is applied very nicely to Kristi’s ass (see pic). I like this girl.

At this point I’m simmering. The show is going to be highly aggressive – I know it. I’m controlling that. I’m waiting… I’m not good company at the moment so the Alex takes the girls up to our room and I stay with Tom and the merch. (see pics)

After a while I need to grab something from upstairs so I go to the room. There are two new girls along with Angie and Kristi now. Juice and Tara (see pic) (this is the girl who asked Alex what time the show was earlier today in her car). I stop in and grab what I need and leave after saying the hellos.

I’m back down at the merch. People are coming in and buying stuff – black TGON hot shorts (I think the guy wants them for himself – whatever) .

I talk to a girl about Footlong hot dogs from a restaurant called Skinners in Lockport MB and not being a slut like she used too be. It’s surreal. In my head I’m battling dreams of apocalypse, holding back the tide that will sweep away everything in a torrent of nothingness. A guy keeps shaking my hand – giving me the devil metal sign and telling me he’s got the hook up for what ever I need. He gives me his number. He tells me we’re now good friends. Wow.

I’m sitting through the worst band I’ve ever heard. You don’t understand – they were like retarded monkeys who were given instruments. They could not play. Everyone around me was rolling eyes. I stop the simmer and yell “Get the fuck off the stage you pansies!” . The sad thing is – they love TGON. They are amazed they should be on the same bill with us. I know this because they told me. I’m amazed they should be on the same bill with us too. But for an entirely different reason.

The next band goes on. Older guys who play Megadeth/Metallica style stuff. They’re derivative. But they at least can play.

The third band goes up and by this time I have to take a wild piss. Where are the fucking guys?? Fucking, I suppose. Anyway they come down finally and I take a very cathartic leak. I come back and right away go to grab a coffee at the Subway – this is when I find out blue streaked hair girl is a stripper.

I walk back and take my spot in the middle of the girls and TGON by our merch table. I’m sure, to them, I seem totally coked out. I’m twitchy and compulsive. But I know what’s coming. Kristi tunes into my manic energy and says “I’m totally excited!”. I know, I know. You’re so sexy too. I know.

The third band finishes. I go up to set my mic and my gtr pedal. All good. I go back down and sit with the girls while Zasta and Jon finish the set up and come down too. Alex, I see, decided to stay on the stage. He’s crouched down, holding his bass on one knee. He scans the room as if looking for someone who might leave, and if they do – KERPLOW!! He’ll shot them with his bass. It’s highly intense. (see pic)

TGON communicates. Tonight we’re all manic. We all need to do this. We all feel an energy coursing. Our intro song Die Ganze ShiessVelt starts. That means “The Whole Fucking World” by the way. It’s a song off our new record. (Out in October).

Everyone there knows that something is going on. Zasta takes the stage. Now they’re two. Kristi says “Whoa, this is really crazy”, I say “You think? Check out Zasta.” And right on cue Zasta starts with the thunder. I watched all the girls faces change – this is out of control. Zasta is pulling down lightening, he’s grinding tectonic plates. (see pic or vid)

I need to do something. I need to scream, I need to kick, I need to feel, I need to love, I need to fuck, I need to…

…I run back stage. I look at the entire stage in front of me. That’s it. That’s what I need.

Closest to me Jon is putting on his guitar.

Suddenly Alex smashes the subsonic barrier with the touch of a hand. He hammers the riff and it cracks reality in two smithereens. This is sin, this lust, this fucking life and she just loves it like the whore she is!

White light as Jon collapses the PornoZING!!! riff on itself with knife speed entry. I can’t take it. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this anymore…

-Time dies-
(see pic)
I find myself suspended in mid-air over the stage. I look slowly around me. The void in front of me where shapes and flashes and something I think might be an audience is waiting. Wondering.

I see Zasta, he knows where this is going. He smiles and says “This is being one with the world. You have to do it.”. I tell him “I know. Can I think about it a little more though? Maybe I should do something else.” Alex huffs, “Ambivalent! Look at you pal, you’re suspended in mid-air about to crash land on Jon. You can’t even stop that. You made the choice.” Jon looks up, “What?! What’s going on?”

-Time start-

I smash full on into Jon. I run to the mic and scream “This is fucking The Gods Of Now!!!!” I fall to the floor and crawl to my guitar. I scream in pain and in performance.

We start the show.

It’s our show – out of control energy and wicked, heavy, badass music.

Lobotomatronic hits. We’re killing everything that has ears. The end of the song is here. This is where I once again clash with Alex. I do. And then out of the void a fan jumps on stage and crashes the mic. He fucking grabs my mic and starts screaming into it.

I’m singing Lobotomatronic. This is a song about being wired wrong. Demons screaming so loud that you cannot do anything but what they say. You are numb to everything. You have nothing. You are dead inside.

My Lobotomatronic eyes see the back of this microphone hijacker. Reflex. I grab him and kick his ass off my stage. He trips over the monitor and goes flying into the void. Return to my senses. What happening? Oh yeah. We’re doing a show. Next song.

We end on Broken. This was a great version we played. Huge solo in the middle. Reminded me of great dreams that you always remember.

We finish.

I see Zasta, Alex and Jon walk off. The hangers on back stage are shaking Jon, Alex and Zasta’s hands saying “Awesome” and “Great show”. The usual. I towel off and walk off stage. The stragglers step back. On guy passes by and says “Great set”. I don’t have time to say “Thanks” before he runs off.

I go to the girls at the merch table. Kristi is impressed she says. All the girls are. I’m happy about that. There’s something about satisfying a woman musically that totally gets me high. I suppose it does that for all of us. Which is why we love playing to them so much.

Then this guy comes up to me and say “Great show man.” I say thanks. Then he says, “I’m the guy you threw off stage. I’m thinking of getting a tattoo of the mark your boot made on my ass.”

His name is Sean. He’s a good guy who says he crashes the stage whenever he can. He says I’m the first guy to ever do anything about it. He did it to Pantera and they just stood by and looked at each other not knowing what to do until one of the bouncers got rid of him. Yeah, I tell him that no one takes my mic. It’s mine.

I go back on stage to unplug my stuff and do a weak pack. We’ll take the stuff out tomorrow. As I’m up there, Dork the Clown comes up and says that it was a good show and he liked it. He gives me a preamble about how he’s some critic for some music mag or something. He says we’re good but he felt that me throwing the fan off the stage was “A little harsh don’t you think?”. I say no. He stares at me with his big cow eyes. “Come on,” he says “…don’t you think it was harsh? I mean, come on.”. I don’t like this guy. He smells bad. He smells like mediocrity. I tell him. “I don’t regret it.” He repeats what I say as if he doesn’t know what the words are. He waddles off the stage. I shake my head.

I finish up and go to the merch table. Girls are still there with the boys in the band. Where else would they be? Dork the Clown is there and so is Sean. I shake hands with Sean and thank him for coming to the show. He walks away with an EP. He’s happy.

It’s time for me to go into solitude. I’m onto something and I can’t put it aside right now. Not even for girls, J.D. or a sleepless night. Everyone pushes into the elevator. I’m crammed next to Kristi – nice feeling. Another life maybe. And earlier one. And some cute girl who I’ve never seen before suddenly says “Yeah, they have bed bugs here – I’ve seen ‘em.” I say “Well, don’t tell me that now. I’m going to bed.” The door opens and they pile into the other room. I go to mine with Alex so he can collect his stuff. Funny. This is the first time when I’ve asked to be alone and people actually left me alone. No cute little knock on the door. I don’t know if I’m happy about this. I’m so fucking ambivalent. Well, starting tomorrow I won’t be! Maybe. No! Yes! Fuck!

The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 3

Is this the anti-ambivalence tour? I can’t make up my mind. Zasta mentions Shit Hole hot chicks – I wonder what the hell keps ‘em there – but when you meet one you’ll know. We all need a collective Cognitive Analysis Therapist – it an issue of self-esteem, pure and simple. I don’t think most of these people would need two or three sessions to become aware of this. Fuck the fact that she’s had a bad child hood – we’ve all had bad childhoods – but really it’s so self indulgent to dwell on how we got here, it’s what do we do now that we’re here. Not to many of these Shit Hold hot chicks have the tools to deal with this that’s for sure.

We stop for food in Thunderian Bayer – Montana’s. Hot Girl seated us. She looked at the ground like it was her best friend. I understand this. I just don’t know why, when the alternative is to make new social connections (I bet every day of the week she says “I’ve got to get out of here”), someone would opt for increasing the solitude. We ate. It was good. My vegetarian burger did a great job of trying to moo.

I look at the troops. They’re spoiling to play. Tomorrow night is going to be good. I feel it. I feel the energy. I remember that this isn’t sight seeing. This isn’t a Rock Tour. This is The Gods Of Now destroying what was and more importantly, building it back the way we want it.

Once again we must feed the fiery hot furnace of the Banyion whose mighty engine has been burning us down to hell. So we get gas at a Husky station. The gas guy runs out “You guys are a band? I want something! Give me something! What have you got? You got a CD? I want to buy something” Ahhhhh! We all got wired off of this guy’s crazy energy! What a music fan! We sold him a shirt.

We all talked about the show – how to make it more TGON – more organic – natural. Talked about why we do this. We all have our own reasons – personal reasons that are valid and make this a very strong cast of characters. The dead ghosts of pasts, the monsters on the edge of the map cannot stop this. Some of us fight them both every day. Some are able to forget they exist. But it all makes TGON a very powerful force.

The scenery changes from rolling to flat. The weather changes from Hot to Cold. The sky changes for clear blue to ash grey. We don’t mind. The rain sometimes washes more than feeds.

Beside the road a very big dog! NO! A bear! A fat one. We all tell him that he rocks! “Yo!! Bear! YEAH! You rock! Go bear!” He looked at us and then ignored us. Cool.

In Winnipeg. It’s been a long time. I feel no attachment to this place any longer. Montreal is my home, my love and my life. This is Winnipeg.

I’m feeling adored by the world my baby. This isn’t situational at this point. This makes me feel that I’m on the right track. I just know that things are as they should be right now and I’m very comfortable in this.

Am I happy? I think so. Again, my ambivalence is showing. Kidding. I’m not even tired right now. But I’m very much in tune with focusing my energy which is at 110% right now. This is going to be a very, very good tour.

Went out after eating a Papa Georges. Wandering down Corydon Ave. Taking big fast Winnipeg walking steps. The middle of street isn’t enough room for The Gods Of Now. The Winnipeg Police ask politely if we can walk on the sidewalk. Good times. Got drunk and made drunk phone calls to those who we need to talk to in that state. Hanging to dry is not good when you have no anchor. Mine tells me I’ll be fine. I believe her.

Time to sleep.

The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 2

Woke up. What is this place? Oh yeah, Sault Sainte Marie. Seemed much more desirable yesterday (actually earlier this morning). But still, the sun is shining and were leaving so life is back to normal. We’ll be back baby, don’t worry. TGON will take care of you!

We stop at a trading post. Cute girl behind the counter can’t sell me liquor. Funny, she looks 18 (19 in ONT years). She tells me with a smile that she’s 15. Yikes. I make the sign of the devil, buy the wine (Australian) and a small bottle of JD and a knife. Yeah! That’s rock and roll baby!

We pile back in with a mission…

To find a waterfall and submerge all this road dust and hatred. Come away clean. Rejuvenated. Not a tall order if you’re traveling the 17 on the top edge of Lake Gitchigoomie.

We stop at the Lake herself. But as serene and meditative as she is, she isn’t knocking us out like we want. And I lost my Paul Smith hat (and that’s my fear and loathing hat too! Fuck!). Anyway I know there’s something better coming…

We find it. A smashing waterfall. Better to see the pics. This was heaven for all of us. Not that morale was low. We’re all in great spirits. But we needed this – not just on this tour but in life. Each one jumped, each one climbed, each one stared in wonder. The water poured upon us. We were baptized into this tour. We’re ready to play both physically and mentally, but now, now we’re ready to play spiritually. The Goddess kissed The Gods Of Now passionately, sensually. We kind ‘a wanted it to be Anna but she was too busy jumping for her life.

We went looking for food in Wawa; the big Canadian Goose town. Everything is closed and there’s no people on the streets. Well, that’s not exactly true. There are cardboard people every 4 meters. They look like they were painted by children. It’s weird. Were going to eat at the Viking restaurant. We’ll see…

We ate. It was good. Peroggies and salad for Schrecker. Tastey. Alex made a chicken/hamburger by ordering two different sandwiches and smashing them together with a hammer and ketchup. Zasta had a hot chicken sand. Same with Jon.

On the way out Alex read on the side of the church.
“Without faith it is impossible to please god”. Schrecker disagreed. “Without pussy it’s impossible to please The Gods Of Now”. What the fuck – I kid cuz I love. Come on!

The rest of the ribbon skate from Wawa to T.Bay was tough on the eyes – enter darkness. Schrecker and Alex J.D. played the choice game/marry, kill, fuck. It passes the time in hilarious ways. “If you were a super hero and had to choose between two powers what would you choose? Noxious, killing farts or Acid Pee?” or “You name three people in which you’d have to marry, kill or fuck – in that order. In the back John and Zasta were watching “Shaun of the Dead”. It rocks to have the TV set up in the tour van. “It was entertaining” was Zasta’s verdict. He liked Adaptation with Nick Cage much more.

In T.Bay we asked Thunderian Bayers (it sounds so Star Wars that we kept the Schrecker proclaimed moniker for the T.Bay inhabitants) how to get to the Comfort Inn. Damn confusing road that Arthur. It starts on one side of town and goes around to the other in what they called a horseshoe. I know what a horse shoe is and baby, that ain’t no horseshoe. It does have about 15 names though.

Found the hotel. Home for the night. Time for sleep. Jon wears a towel on his head after his shower (you’ll see the vid once we get back home to MTL). It’s all so fucking surreal. Who did I make this deal with? Tomorrow I’m gonna own some of this shit I’ve been dealing with.

The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 1

The Banyion waits. Zasta, Jon and I (Schrecker) begin the tetris that will take place day after day, night after night for the next four weeks. Reflected in the same compartmentalization that we do with baggage from relationships, memories, desires – we pack these instruments of future, torture or whatever. Gear. Extensions, can’t leave home without ‘em! Hate ‘em like lovers sometimes. But love ‘em mostly.

All packed – but we must find Alex J.D. his place within the web of this rolling insanity. We do. It isn’t hard really, we just make room where there wasn’t before.

And like the great and mythic Ulysses, we get into the van and head to North Bay Ontario.

What we see is beautiful. Trees, sky, The Mother of us all laying at our feet. What we feel is “why the hell are we doing this?”. This goes on for hours. The thought process of each of us not so private but also dangerously close to self realization.

Hours, and hours. Wondering how in all this expanse – how in all the Heavy Music fans – even directing us to an outdoor 13 band Heavy fest. How our booking agent couldn’t find a place for The Gods Of Now to bring the power down. It’s a crime.

The Moose Something or other in North Bay. Cute hostess. She doesn’t serve us though. Too bad baby, we’re spoiling for attention – you would have had fun. We’d love to get kicked out – but only after we eat!

Strange roads in front of us. 11 or 17. It’s 17. We decide on 11. An hour later pissing under crystal clear star wrecked skies we discover our mistake. Only an hour out. But that’s another hour back. 2 hours. That’s a life time in the movies!

We’re tired. Can only go so much farther. But we must reach our girl for the night. Sault Saint Marie waits with her soft skin and large breasts. She won’t get close. We’re delirious. Lust for sleep because painful. There is only black outside our world in the Banyon. Our only connection is with others on this ribbon of hell that’s called the 17. We only want to get there.

We get there. But now to find the Hotel. Marie is shy. She doesn’t want to show us her goodies right away. I hate her but I need her. We stop in at a Tim’s to ask – (it’s 4:30 am!). Pitch black outside Donut Man tells me that we have to go to a baseball diamond and turn up a hill. This would have been very easy if it wasn’t for the fact – THAT IT’S FUCKING NIGHT TIME!!!!

We find her soft spot. And Savannah, her milky tits reminding me of pillows – I want to sleep – gives me the keys. Room 225 at the Comfort Inn in Sault Saint Marie. I remember hitting the bed.

Disclaimer And Zeitgeist

They want me to change my thoughts.

Some people seem to be upset at what I’m writing here. Firstly, I write about what has occurred while I’m on the road with The Gods Of Now. What has transpired, gone down through my eyes. This is all about the way I perceive what has happened. Now they want me to go back and re-write or omit some actions. How can I change what has happened? I can’t. This is life. I’m living through it and I relate what happens and how it makes me feel. I’m writing it from my Point Of View, no one else’s unless I say so: usually Zasta’s, Jon’s, or Alex’s story related to me by them.

I don’t regret what happens here on the road. That would be ridiculous. You can’t regret anything that is beyond your control. I simply relate it and filter it through my eyes. Those who are upset about this want me to stop it or change what I’ve lived through by rearranging the words on these pages. To fake it up. Make a lousy meal a good meal or a crappy hotel into a five star establishment. This is censorship. And I’ll never give into that. The very notion of me changing any of this makes me sick. That’s the end of it. What I’m writing is what I’m living through. If you have a problem with that or think you’ve been done an injustice by me or even if you’re entertained by my life’s bent path – leave a comment. I have no problem with that. I don’t give a fuck anyway. If you haven’t noticed, I’m much more preoccupied with myself than with what anyone around me thinks. But if you can convince me that your band WAS amazing or you did a great job or whatever – I’ll be more than happy to write that it in. It’s open ended – like life. You have to make the choice to act on it. Maybe it was all just some big misunderstanding.

Listen, like Zasta so rightly pointed out, there are tv shows and all kinds of shows that make fun of or trash talk celebrities, political figures and, Christ… they make fun of… well… Christ and Allah and Buddha and everyone else who happens to be out there. For fuck sakes – if you can’t take it, what can I tell you? Maybe you should get better at what you do or don’t take it so personally or get therapy. I know some really good Doctors too. Seriously, I do.

If you find yourself in these pages you’ve made an impression on me. You should be happy about that! Not everyone I meet or work with gets that distinction. You, of course WANT it to be a good one. Well sometimes life’s harsh. (Back in the day, Dudes in the biz told me I suck to my face. I got better and they don’t work in the biz no more. Everyone wins!) Sure you want things to work out in your favor. Well, sometimes it works, sometimes it don’t. I’ll talk about both. Conflict is good. I like when things work out as much as you do. I love it when people do what they say they will – but we all know life isn’t like that. It’s all different levels of conflict. Good and Bad. Shit happens. Next week you’ll forget all about it. I already have.

You can see I clearly have an opinion about everything. If you like it, let me know. We’ll most likely get fucking wasted at some point if or when we meet. If you don’t like my opinion, what can I tell you? Leave me a comment and tell me how you do feel about it. Don’t worry – you can’t say anything to me that I haven’t already heard. And if you can – we’ll most likely get fucking wasted at some point when we meet and talk about the “I’m bored of porn” fad that’s going around.

My point is, I’m here on the road because my thought process lets me observe things differently than others. Not any better – just differently. I express it musically and I’m good at it. I worked hard at getting it together and here we are. If anyone likes what The Gods Of Now do, it is up to them. But this blog is about MY life on the road while playing with TGON. About the Gods I travel with and how the Banyion is our home. This is about how I see my place in all of this fucking mess. This is about My issues, which clearly are vast, and My idiocy which is clearly a handicap. This writing is private – only those who read this blog are allowed to read it. So you should be made fully aware that what you are asking me to do by changing what I’m writing here is censorship. And I won’t do it.

END of DISCLAIMER and ZEITGIEST.