The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 14

Time is fucked on the road. It’s all blurry. What happened yesterday is in the same category as your last year in school.

I woke up at ease today. Peaceful. Moving out to Calgary – 7 ish hours. Gotta move.

We pile in the Banyion – some girls are screaming running down stairs. Who the fuck..? oh yeah, Amanda and Max. They came to say good-bye. That’s really nice. That’s something great.

We go for breakfast at a place called Harold’s. This isn’t a good place. They charge for everything here – and don’t tell you when you order something that they will. It’s like a hospital that way. Our server wasn’t happy to begin with but we’re very postitive people. This seemed to annoy her. Okay, we’ll leave her be. We do. Then it’s time to order. It’s all just plain breakfasts for all of us. Alex gets oatmeal and cottage cheese which he dumps ketchup into. I’ve never had it that way so I taste it. Naa, doesn’t do it for me. I like it plain better. Jon gets scrambled eggs and sausages toast and coffee. I have three eggs and hash browns. The first thing we notice is – ABSOLUTELY NO SUBSTITUTIONS!!! These owners must be sooo fucking cheep ass anal about everything. This is so far the only place I know that’s like this – except for down town spots in TO and Montreal. But believe me this ain’t one of those joints. Anyway. I also order sourdough bread. I like it so…Now Zasta has never had sourdough bread and wants to get some toast. But he doesn’t want an extra cost on his breakfast. So he clearly asks. “If I get this breakfast (pancakes and eggs with sausage), instead of the sausage can I get toast”. The waitress says “Okay, I’ll give you kiddy pancakes and that should do it.” Okay. He also wants an orange juice.

She brings apple. He accepts it.

We get our meals. It takes forever by the way. It’s okay. The sourdough is find but not outstanding. Then the bill.

Everything is an extra charge. No substitutions (you can almost hear Herr Gobbles shouting it!) so everything has an extra charge. Zasta’s toast – $3.09 extra, the pancakes are also a higher price. Then the juice 3.95!!! Poor guy’s breakfast cost him almost 7 bucks extra – just for juice and toast.

Stay away from this place. Harold’s Family Restaurant in Kamloops sucks man ass. What’s even worse than all of this – Zasta and Alex go use the wash room. When he comes upstairs the waitress – who things we’ve gone is telling everyone about this asshole who was just in there! Ahhhh! None of us like confrontation but when it happens – WE LOVE IT!!! He goes and stands right in front of her. The bitch turns beat red. Zasta calmly explains that there was no mention of extra charges on the things he ordered. In fact he even, and nicely, asked if their were – and she said no their wasn’t. So fuck Harold’s Family Restaurant. We kick dust off our shoes and leave.
On the highway, we hear a car horn and see a pick up truck with two girls zoom by. They give us the metal sign and wave frantically. The plate is from the Yukon. We pass them and it’s none other than Amanda and Max. One of them told me they were from Vernon and sure enough – they take the turn and wave good-bye for the last time…

Now we’re burning it through the mountains. We stop for coffee at a gas station where Barbara Jean – the most incredibly blond, fully made up, hot 16 year old stripper-wannabe cashier lives. It was like having a cheap Christina Aguliera (in her blond phase) giving you change for buying an apple. Not bad make-up either. Not enough lipstick for my taste though.

We’re on the other side of the Rockies now, descending into Calgary.

We’ve been driving for a while now when we arrive at The Thirsty Dog. It’s a rock bar straight up. We go in and Jess, the woman from The Devil’s Work Productions is waiting for us. She’s so nice to us. These are the kinds of people that make the Indie music biz a pleasure to be in. They’re rare. We’ll stay friends with her. This I know.

So we’re going on 3rd out of 4 bands. Great. Prime spot. We don’t care about the headline spot we care about playing to the most people. The other bands are fine with this. Thanks guys.

So we leave our gear stowed near the stage on this side of the dance floor and bring in the merch and set up.

I see our Tara walk in. We met her in Winnipeg. I give her a hug. She brings her little brother – a hard rocker named Jonathan. He’s looking forward to this. He won’t be disappointed.

Psychotic Episode #4

I’m not feeling great. I feel very alone and tired. Sad and pathetic. I’m looking for some kind of lifeline. I use the phone but there is only a victim of my mania to talk to. I feel my life slipping away. I ball my hands into fists so I stop spilling my life. Hold them in my pockets. Do people notice I’m a wreck? Is there anyone who could help me? I didn’t think I was failing but I think I am. I don’t see the same way others do, I’m a bad man for closing down on you. For being weak. For being a kid. I see creatures descending from the ceiling. Syrupy hands let them stick to walls. They leave red marks everywhere. I hold my head trying to block them out.

End Psychotic #4

Alex has an old school friend Jessy and his girlfriend Erin (who is pregnant, congratulations!) come to the show. Jessy’s cool and takes pics and Erin takes vids.

The first band, Hellrazer were hard rocking metal. They were good. They threw their cut of the door to us. I think that was spectacular of them to do. They know what it’s like being on the road. They know what it’s like to rock hard and get it done.

I ask Jessie the promoter if there was anything worked out with the bar. She said there was nothing – but there could have been… She goes and gets us a 50 dollar tab for food and drinks. Sweet! I have a Caeser Salad. Zasta, Jon, and Alex had the special of the house. It’s a double cheeseburger. They say it was very good! And HUGE! Alex said if it was a single it would have been fine.

The next band was called Bloated Pig. We like these guys a lot. Really great and heavy blues based music. Fuck yeah! And their were more than a couple of spots were I’d have loved to have been toasted, listening to it. Great!

Now it’s our turn. We set up. We had no sound check but the sound was just fine. We kicked into Skeeved from the intro and it was soaring. Everyone moved from the pool tables to the tables. It feels so good to play, like being washed clean. MAN In A Car is deadly. I popped another string! Argh. I grab my Fender Strat. We play PornoZING!!! This is a complex song with non-stop right angles. It fucking rocks! Again we end with Assaholic. Fucking sick!

I’m popping strings on my Elite guitar left and right. I have to file down the saddles cuz they seem to be sharp and cutting through my strings. I use 13 to 56 which are pretty heavy so it’s probably splitting the wire wrap on the string. Growing pains of a new guitar. I love using her though.

Jonathan, Tara’s brother says “This is the most crucial thing I’ve ever seen!” He liked it. Good. We talk about amps a bit. I tell him to check out Groove Tubes Amps. Their kick ass but controllable. And that beautiful tube sound.

We sit and watch the last band. Thrashers called Bravado. And then all the fucked up shit in my head spills into reality…

Psychotic Episode #5.

I get up and see Alex taking down the merch panel (it’s the wire mesh panel we have our merch affixed to). I figure he wants to start loading up. I grab it from him and take it to the Banyion.

Next thing I see is a hyper Alex with the merch boxes. He says something like “We better get our shit outta there cuz their’s some fucking assholes roughing people up.”

I go in to find Jess being shoved around by three or four fuckers. I really gets me when I see guys roughing up dames. Shit, isn’t that what Marv said in “Sin City”? Anyway she looks like she needs some support (understatement) so I go over and stand in front of her with my back to the fuckers. She’s hyper so I tell her to calm down and take a breath.
A little backstory here. This place has a reputation and these guys were SNOWboarding their way to an early grave. Put two and two together. I tell a few I see to call the cops. They look at me like I’m crazy. No, no cops. This has to play itself out.

I see Alex standing on the other side of the gear (that’s where all this is going down, right on top of our precious gear). Tara and her brother are there too. So are a few others – and now more of the Fuckers. Someone comes along and tries to get Head Fucker away. But now, because TGON is standing in front of his need for blood so he’s got us fixed. He’s out for us now. Head Fucker gets away (Jess is holding on but isn’t happy – who would be? Jon is to my left front by the gear. Alex is directly behind me and Zasta is to my left side.) . Head Fucker comes to me and puts an arm around me and speaks in tongues. I’ve heard it before so I know. He wants us hurting. I turn and move out from under him. Tara tries to break things up (this girl has some kind of character – she’s rolling up her sleeves, there is no way the Fuckers are going to touch her TGON! We all think she’s amazing! She has no problem calling the cops – but it’s so loud will they hear her?). I turn and a fist speeds by me and hits Zasta in the side of the head. Sucker punch. I grab his head and look. No blood from his ear. He says he’s alright. Nothing major just a shock at the stupidity of the whole thing.

We all feel it at the same time. We’re surrounded by the Fuckers. The camera spins around the scene, too fast, it’s too intense. We see TGON in the center of about 8 Fuckers who have positioned themselves to let none escape.

The Fuckers are here to make a point. They want to do damage. They want to kill. (later we see the weapons that we thought were baseball bats and lead pipes that they brought with them. These were twined with barbed wire and nails – that’s total darkness). Guy in a blue shirt comes to take Head Fucker away one more time. Musicians have timing. We see the break. We head for the door.

Jon is standing with us and suddenly he goes back. “Jon! What the fuck are you doing get over here!” I say. Alex and Zasta are saying the same thing. Jon grabs two guitar cases and turns. Just as all hell breaks loose. I see him running with the two cases like a soldier with ammo boxes. Behind him a mass of bodies and tables and beer bottles flying everywhere. But this isn’t a bar room fight. I’ve been in those. Those peak and then die. This, this is different.

We duck out the back and get in the Banyion. The only thing we’re thinking is Jess and Tara are still in there! We start up and go around the front while Jon calls the cops and an ambulance. Their will be blood here. I pull around the front and we see MORE Fuckers going in. They’re carrying what we think are baseball bats and lead pipes.

We go around the block and see some Fuckers run down the street. We hear the sirens. One of the running away Fuckers sees us and stops in the middle of the street. I drive by as he shouts something. We go to the front of the place that is now bathed in the fireworks of police lights. (I park in the handicapped spot. I wonder, for a millisecond if they’ll give me a ticket.). I jump out of the Banyion and walk to the door. Out comes the drummer from Bravado. His head is gashed when one of the Fuckers through a beer bottle at him. Then another one came and smashed a chair across his face. The EMT make him lay on the ground while they get a stretcher. He’ll be okay. But I think he’s got a concussion.

I walk in. Is this the same venue? It’s a wreck. A broken pile of glass, blood, chairs, booze and tables. I look around. There’s Jess and she’s is okay. They slammed her once or twice but she’s fine. So is Tara and Jonathan her little brother (Jonathan is totally hardcore. He made sure no one fucked with our gear! Fucking hardcore dude!). And when they see me they are all relieved that we are okay. Fuck, these people are amazing!!! Jess apologizes! Oh my god Jess, it’s not your fault at all, I tell her and hug her. We all do.

We start to load up the gear. The cops don’t question us. They just keep saying “You guys are in the band right?”. We look over to the police cars and there on the back of the squad car were the weapons I mentioned. Spikes and barbed wire. We find out that a couple of them were caught trying to get back into the bar through the back. Geeze, stupid.

Anyway we’re putting the last bit of gear in the Banyion and two girls walk by and in all seriousness say to me: “See what your devil music makes people do!”

End Psychotic Episode #5

We say good-bye to Tara and Jess. Matt her boyfriend buys a CD and a patch and tells us we were awesome. Hmmm, how come we feel like powerless cowards then? I think I’m going to train to be an Ultimate Fighter in my down time. TAP OUT!

We’re all wired as we drive to the hotel on the other side of town. I can’t see sleep at all. Neither can Jon, Alex or Zasta. We decided to blow out of here (excuse the pun) and go to Edmonton three hours away. It’s 3 am right now.

We miss the turn to the 2 north. We see a gas station and I want a coffee so we stop. We’re in there waiting for the fresh coffee when Katie and her friend (Jay?) came in. Katie wanted some attention obviously cuz she comes up and say “Hey are you guys in a band?” We’re on!

We charm the pants off of her – well, not literally (if we only had more time!) we actually charm a TGON hoodie on to her. She buys one and we throw in the EP because she bartends at a local bar that would play it. Cool. (See pic). We take pix with her. Two nice people. And two new important fans for us. This is why we’re on the road.

We see the sunrise as we drive into Edmonton. The Sandman was booked tight so we’re staying at the Windgate down the street on 100 ave. Really nice hotel. Clean and new. We even got a full morning breakfast. And then at 8:30 am we hit the beds.

I fall asleep.

The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 13

Last Part Of Day 12

Okay, this is weird. It’s Day 13 and a Friday but it’s the 12th of September. There’s some kind of vortex of confusion here for sure.

I go to sleep.

Day 13

I walk up to Zasta’s cell phone alarm that I asked him to put on. I immediately feel conviction. The Gods Of Now!

I see that the establishment doesn’t like to hear things that are new or anti-establishment. I’ll take it as a sign that I’m right on track.

It’s always best to make up your own mind – just buy the record and listen to it. If you don’t like it, burn it. And tell your friends that you have no musical taste – Oh come on, I’m kidding. Like it or not – just make up your own goddamn mind. It’s taste.

Zasta says in my voice “Don’t be like me – don’t be ambivalent”. Ha! He’s so right. Do I even know what I like? Ask I guess, then I’ll tell you. I have opinions but do I stand by them… Is it bone head judgment or informed opinion?

Oh fuck this is getting complicated now… Ambivalence is all about keeping it going as long as possible. Trying to stay right where you are in the comfort zone and not break out of it by deciding what you need to do – EVEN WHEN YOU MUST. And that last bit is key.

Definition of Ambivalence #1

You must make a choice sometimes – who of us has never been with four strippers who all want to you to fuck them, shoot heroin and crash sum poor family and terrorize them for 3 days? You must make a stand – yes or no – me – I want to hang with the four strippers for as long as possible with out engaging in the deadly actions – who wants to spend three days doing nothing when I’ve got too much work to do anyway! Just to be – to do is to decide – so to be ambivalent means you stay where you are. God what a deceit it is.

End Definition.

We go for a light breakfast at a little place called 5 Forty Cafe & Deli. The food was SOOOOO good. Breakfast sandwiches made fresh. I had the two egg vegetarian with spicy cheese. Whoa! Amazing. The coffee was fantastic too. All the boys in the band vacuumed their sandwiches with ease.

Journey down the mountain. Their’s this smell coming from the Banyion. No, not in the Banyion but the furnace that keeps us moving forward. I think it’s the brakes but it may be the power steering fluid that needs topping up. Either way – I’m gonna take it in for a lube job. Alex knows all about giving those, pal.

We get to Kamloops and go to Long and McQuade music. What a helpful bunch of people. We once had an argument about people in music stores and how I knew, because I’ve been to so many, that they all act like assholes. Selling two bit guitars that are impossible to play to little kids. (and you wonder why their are so many D.J.’s.). Anyway – I had to fix my cable from the Vancouver show. The guy takes it and tries to fix it on the spot (I tell him that we’re from MTL and that we’re playing tonight here in Kamloops), which is a fucking amazing thing to get done anywhere let alone a music store! And then I buy a strap and a new cable cuz mine went Lobotomatronic on me – for those of you who somehow don’t have the record yet – that means the wires have been crossed. Not good. I’ve only had it for like 10 years. I suppose it was due. Zasta bought a snare skin. Jon wanted to get a pedal but couldn’t find any he liked. The cashier told me how to get to the hotel and was totally friendly.

So, I’ve rescinded. I was wrong. I was close minded and now I’m born again about guys who work in music stores. I admit it. Not everyone that works in a music store is an asshole. To tell you the truth – it’s been a long time since anyone in a music store has been anything towards me but very nice and helpful. I’ve just been hanging on to some kind of deep anger, I guess. It’s good to let it go. In fact, the next music store I go into I’m gonna shake the fucking sales guy’s hand and say “you are doing a great job here dude! Keep up the good work!”. I will too. Wow, this is one less issue I have to worry about. My disdain for going into music stores! Hey! It’s not much, but one less issue in my plethora of issues is sooo uplifting.

We go to The Best Western and settle in. Very nice hotel. Friendly, clean and big rooms. Me and Zasta go for a hot tub and a swim. I know, touring is rough. And it’s gonna get rougher when Amanda and Max show up. Amanda is a knock-out native girl who is covered in tattoos and piercings. She sees me and Zasta immediately, but not before we see her. Ha! Me and Zasta are such sluts!

We’re swimming around them and Zasta tells them about the show tonight. They say they’re going to come. We’ll see. They seem like the kind of girls who would totally dig what we do. So we’re hopeful.

We go back to the room. Alex is napping. Today, he’s feeling blue. He misses home. I don’t blame him. And I understand. We all do. Nothing is easy. But nothing is erroneous. Cuz unless you die, you have a chance. And if you have a chance – that’s all you need.

I mean, what the hell drives us to leave what we have and come out here into space and drift? Psychologically, physically, mentally, spiritually. What is the fucking click we need to hear in our head to calm us down? To make us stable? And most importantly, to make us happy?

Oooo that’s a hard one, that last question. What do we need to make us happy? If I could answer that, I don’t know if I would be here right now. But for now there is one thing that at the very least gives us conditional happiness…

We perform.

Anyway, I say to the guys that their is an amazing, albeit expensive buffet that the hotel does every Friday. It has fish and meat and everything we could want. So we could have that, or something else if that doesn’t do it for us. Jon and Zasta are with me on it. They’re going to the mall to look around and invite girls to the show. I’m working and Alex… well…

…Alex gets up. He says curtly, “I don’t want that. It’s not the quality but the quantity I need”. I don’t say that this is a fine restaurant with a chef that puts this buffet on. Besides he says “what I’m going to do is get two hamburgers. I’ll eat one now and have one for later.” I think I should tell him but, I don’t think what he’s on about has anything to do with food.

He’s about to leave and I ask “where’ya goin’?” He looks back at me like I’m the last fucker he wants to see right now (now remember this is all in my Point Of View or POV, he might have been in fine mood and it might be me who is projecting all of this) and says “I dunno! But if I don’t find anything, I’ll be back.” And then he leaves. Yeah, I don’t think it’s my POV.

Alex is, like Zasta says, a cross between a Special Forces soldier and your mom. He cares for us all cuz were family. But wow! Ker-Plow – When the God of Wrath shakes his fist at the heavens, those under him tremble. I figure – cuz I’ve been on tour so many times before and been down where he is right now – that he needs to be alone out in space. Just by himself.

Jon and Zasta come back at about the same time as Alex. He has two hamburgers and eats one. We leave him in the room and go for our meal.

If you stay here – get it. The food was fantastic. It was so fresh and good. And the variety! Especially in the fish!

Our waitress – Jamie was a shy, cute girl who had the, as Zasta so eloquently put it – “Whapishhhh!” the tightest ass you’ve ever seen. Couldn’t keep my eyes off of it.

Amanda and Max were out on their balcony – the honeymoon suite – taking pictures of themselves. They were dressed up to go out. They waved. Their were others with them too.

We finished up with desert and coffee. Amazing meal – and I don’t as a rule, eat before playing. But today I’m hungry. We go back to the room and get ready. The vibe is good. We’re on. We all want to scrape away that psychotic residue that we picked up at the Vancouver show. Put that to rest once and for all.

We get in the Banyion and go look for the club. A place called Malone’s Pub. It’s in North Kamloops. On the way – I have a vague idea where it is, we stop to ask these two girls walking down the street – Alex opens the window and says “Excuse me, would you know where…” At this point the older one runs away shaking her head, while the other girl, younger looks at her friend like she’s crazy. Alex continues the question, “…Malone’s Pub is?” The one running away shout back “No! Leave us alone,” The other smiling one shrugs and shakes her head and follow her friend. Hmmm, this is gonna be a good gig we think.

We finally stop and ask a big tattooed guy where it is. He tells us. We’re there in a cunt hair.

We walk in. It’s a salle de spectacle pure and simple. Bar, then tables and chairs then dart boards with no drum riser. The sound guy was setting everything up from scratch. Monitors, FOH bins and mics. We meet Stan the guy who put on the show. Old roadie for Burton Cummings. Good guy too. He postered – kick ass posters too (see pic), did radio ads, and put ads in the local papers. Hmm, my PR person is supposed to be doing stuff like this too but so far we’ve seen nothing – Stan is a good old school rock guy. Great!

We set up and sound check. The cable is fine and we’re ready to play.

We see Eriko out in the parking lot. We played with his band Throttlcaster in Vancouver. It was good seeing them again. Nice guys.

We sat down to watch them put on their show. Lots of applause. Can’t go wrong with heavy riffs.

Meet a heavy music fan named Jay who saw a poster about our show in a window somewhere (see it does work). He drops a wad of cash on the CD and everything else that seemed to catch his eye. And he wasn’t the only one who did this. I admit that our merch is so fucking amazing. I’d buy it without a doubt. And this guy Jay is so freaking nice. Just happy to be listening to live music.

Now it’s our turn to play.

I would love to see us play when were on like this. Holy fuck – everything was like fucking the perfect girl. She looks great, smells amazing and when you look into her eyes you figure it’s love. It was a kick ass show! Everything was out of control and sexy and hot and The Gods Of Now. Zasta smashed into the Intro Riff and there was no turning back. We made them all ours with Wrong But In Throes and Jon’s solo in Broken was spectacular! We ended with Assaholic – fuck, you really feel like a God playing this tune. Ahhh, that’s so much better…

We get off stage and we’re happy. I say “I know this is situational happiness but holy fuck I feel good about this”. Alex gives me the TGON hand shake and a pat on the back. “Sometimes it’s okay, right, pal”. Yeah, especially right now.

….And who should be there – Amanda from the hotel and he brings all her friends. She loved what she saw. Thought it was “Awesome”.

Dean, a happy heavy music fan – who fucking loved what we threw down, buys our sexiest shirt for girls (the black mesh tank top) for Max who says she isn’t wearing any undies – I say, “Yeah, let’s see.” She laughs and walks away from me and lifts her skirt. Ha! Nice bare ass. Well, Dean wants to see her wearing the shirt cuz she’s “She’s got those big tits, ya know!” he says. Hey, I’m here to facilitate the party – and if he needs a shirt to get some nudity going on – well, I’ll take his money and shake his hand! I do and he takes the shirt over to her.

A little later Dean comes up to me and once again tells me the show was killer and that he learned a valuable lesson tonight “Don’t buy a drunk girl a shirt and then give it to her if she promises to put it on. Dude, she took the shirt and won’t put it on for me.” Ha! Good for her.

So everyone is talking to everyone all at once. Eriko from Throttlecaster really wants to hit the road. He tells me he’s ready to go. Well, that attitude will get you on the road for sure – But like everything, you got to do it yourself.

I’m standing there when Amanda comes up to me and puts her hand on my back. I’m covered in sweat from the show. She thinks this is hot and tells me so. Ah! Really now?

Anyway, I pack up my stuff and it’s time for Tetris in the Banyion.

Back inside I get my a pic taken with Amanda. Dean is doing a hilarious impersonation of a photographer and takes bad pictures of us.

We go back out to the Banyion and finish the pack. Everyone is hanging out there – especially Amanda who asks “Are you gonna come to our hot tub?” and not just once. But like 78 times. We say, yeah, sure. She has such a nice face – killer body too. Tattoos all over the place.

We have a full Banyion and a band so we setoff for the hotel with “Are you coming to our hot tub?” ringing out over the night.

I’m driving and we’re talking, going over the performance. Great moments, weak moments, etc. We realize we missed the turn to go up to our hotel. I make a U turn and head back down the same road…

“YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!!” says the disembodied voice coming from a pick up truck going in the opposite direction – Whao! I’m on a one way! ROCK AND ROLL!!!

We flip back around and find the hotel. The boys are off and up to the hot tub. I’m not interested in this… You know I’m not – the hot tub I hang in has a bikini clad girl named Ambivalence and a sexpot drunk girl named Addiction who blow me every chance they get. But I’m the Singer for The Gods Of Now. I’m here to make friends so I go.

I go up to the third floor. I see Alex coming back saying “You don’t wanna go there pal, there’s nothing but sausage”. Well, this must be the case as a couple got married and I suppose these are all their friends: Telsa, Max, Amanda, Charlotte… They’re hot! I’m not looking for a thing – just fans.

Alex goes back to the room and I see Amanda out on the balcony. Zasta is there and Jon is having a smoke. Zasta looks at me and en Francais says “Il y a des saucisses dans la chambre.” I nod and say “Spa bon”. Zasta didn’t hear me – but I thought it was funny. But I say hello to Amanda. She’s wearing her black bathing suit from earlier today. I think it’s the pair of our black TGON hot shorts she bought at the show. I say I’ll take a pic of them on her and she can be on the website. She says “I’ll go put them on if you fuck me first.” Click. That’s all I needed. I say “yeah, sure,” and leave. I’ve got too many issues for anyone these days. I’m fucked in my head – that’s more than enough. I’d like to be drunk right now. I’d love to not be able to get it up. Wasted.

I go back to the room with Jon. He asks for the key so he can go have another smoke. He’s smoking a lot these days (!). He comes and goes a couple of times – smoking is addictive no doubt about it. Alex tells me Amanda was asking for me at the hot tub room before I got there. This tugs at my old self inside. But that’s okay. I like Amanda, in another life we could have been friends. And, I don’t think she needs Lucifer in her life right now and… and…and… you know why.

I work.

Zasta comes in. He seems happy and content. He puts the keys to the Banyion on the table. I smile. The road is a very strange place. A very strange and confusing place.

Goodnight.

The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 12

I wake up on the cot. It’s not that the weight of the world comes crashing into me or anything, it’s just I feel I must align my Karma or something. Do some good somewhere to alleviate this fragility of my psyche. I’ll be good today. I’ll use all the tools I have at my disposal from my therapies. But I know thinking about it and doing it are two different things.

I look at the time. It’s almost 9 and the wake up call. I check my email. My friend Joe Malozzi who is a producer and head writer for Stargate Altantis has invited TGON down to the set for a tour and to meet some of the actors.

I get up, go down stairs and look for a pay phone. There are no payphones in these Western Provinces! Why? Anyway, I walk to the next hotel over and give Joe a call. He’s in meetings all morning so he says we can drop by after 1 pm. That’s more than fine as we can get some food. We also need to replace a snare skin that Zasta didn’t realize he had broken at the LeDuc gig.

I pack up and say “We’ve got 40 min guys. Let’s go”. I hear Zasta say something. He’s tired. He almost went to bed as late as I did. He may be cranky. I’m not quite sure what it was he said but I sort of took it personally although I didn’t say anything. I kick myself for taking it personally. I’m stronger than this. If he’s cranky, this has nothing to do with me. I say I’m going to put my stuff in the Banyion and then I’ll be in the restaurant having a coffee. Which I did.

I’m sitting there thinking of sensuality, sexuality and women. I’m such a fucking animal. For all my enlightened thoughts and motivated awareness. I’m just a dildo with legs! The woman serving me keeps on coming around and asking if I want more coffee. I don’t. I pay and leave after a brief conversation about finding trouble. It was weird.

I see Zasta and I give him the keys to put his stuff in the Banyion and I check out. The sweet little trainee clerk did a great job and looked super cute to boot.

I walk out and see Alex and Jon. I say “Let’s go for food.”

We get in and we find ourselves looking for a breakfast place in Vancouver. I know that Granville Island has restos and cafes so I think this would be a good place. They’ll eat and I won’t (I’m not hungry). I’ll change the strings on my guitar.

I was wrong. But not that there weren’t restos and cafes. But Zasta was not in the mood for walking to look for any place. And that’s perfectly fine. So was his comments out loud about this. I tried to let it go. But I felt that old situational self-esteem thing hit me again. No. I’ll be okay with this. I’ll recognize that this is his issue not mine. I’m not here to make him happy. Just to find him food… He makes another comment.

And once again I take it personally. But this time I shatter. I can’t deal. I don’t need to be here. I don’t need to take care of anyone. The whole thing falls like a house of cards. I try to gulp for air. Anything. I need anything to show me softness or care. The only thing I can remember is that if you can’t win a fight then you have to walk away. There will be no winners here if I stay. So I say, “Okay, you know what. I’m not eating.” I say it too harshly but I’m really holding myself back. In the past I’ve let entire projects fall to nothing because I give in to this mode of thinking. The Gods Of Now are too important and this situation isn’t. I’m not going to do it now. “You guys find your own place. I’ll be back at the van!” I stomp away like a psycho-idiot. So I got to sort of maybe, a little use some of a little bit of the tools I’ve been learning in my therapies. I’m a stupid fuck.

I turn a few corners and I find the very breakfast place that we were all looking for. Irony. Don’t you just love it! I grab a coffee from the hot Latina (who doesn’t love a hot Spanish girl?!) and I sit outside and change the strings. It’s nice and peaceful. But I don’t calm down. My thoughts are going too fast.

Done the string change and I finish my coffee. Most of the girls in Vancouver aren’t aggressive I find. They look at the ground a lot. Very few smiled at me and when you say hello it’s a rare thing to get a “hi” back. This isn’t the case in the other parts of the country. This isn’t the case in Montreal where the daughters of Venus live.

Anywayz. I put the guitar back in the Banyion and I go and send some mail. I come back and they’re there. I’m not talking. If I talk it’s not going to do anyone any good. I have to let this pass. They ate. But I feel it’s my fault that it wasn’t what they wanted. It isn’t. I know. They can take care of themselves. But I feel like I’ve let them down. That fucking cable last night. Goddamn it.

It’s one thing to recognize what you are, it’s another thing to do something about it – if you want to.

I keep my mouth shut and the Banyion is quiet but for the roar of the beasts engine. There’s tension. We’re on our way to the Stargate Studio. I’ve been talking about heading there all morning long. It’s the plan. I’ve said it again and again. We are right around the corner looking for the building – I’ve said the addy over and over. And then I hear Zasta say, “Are we actually going anywhere at all right now?” Oh fuck…

What’s going on in my head.

Why? Why? Why? Do you ask this? Do I give off the vibe to you that I don’t know what the hell is going on? I keep this show on the road. I know you need your snare skin. I know you guys – all of you need a bed at night. I know you have to eat. So why in the fucking hell would I be driving around for no fucking reason at all? Especially since I’ve said 47 times that we’re GOING TO THE FUCKING STARGATE STUDIO TO SEE MY PAL JOE!!!!

What I say:

“No we’re not going anywhere at all.”

That did it. He asks what the fucking problem is. He tells me I’m playing games not talking like this. He’s frustrated with me too.

I tell him.

I tell him that I’m psychologically defeated from last night. And even though I shouldn’t be needing situational self-esteem to cheer me up, would it have been so difficult for him to be nice to me. To not comment like he did. Not to subtly or obviously make me feel bad. Make me feel like I let him and Jon and Alex down.

…

He was quiet for a moment and then… He apologized. He agreed that he too felt psychologically defeated because of last night and that he should have been more aware of the situation. Holy shit. These are good men that are in this band.

They’re sick bastards but very strong. Stronger than me.

We shook hands and it was done.

We enter the lot of the studio. We’re told to park somewhere around the corner. I see Paul Scully’s name on an empty spot. I park there. I know him – it’s cool.

We go up to Joe’s office. He’s coming down the hallway. I haven’t seen him for about 4 years. He looks exactly the same but he’s funnier than I remember him. And more concerned about our diet then I ever thought he’d be.

He takes us on a tour of Stargate, Stargate Atlantis.

INTERESTING JON FACT #4

He actually watches Stargate Atlantis sometimes. (we’ll not when he’s playing or doing his web designs but you know what I mean).

We try out the stargate/vortex.

We captain the Prometheus.

We meet Ronon (Jason Momoa) the Warrior guy. Then go in to the live stage. They’re shooting a scene.

They shoot 4 takes. 4th cut and print.

Teyla! Rachel Luttrell!

I want a picture with this woman – she’s fucking spectacular. I ask Joe. He sets it up – he’s a great guy!

Rachel comes over to my right and I introduce myself. The band and what we do. She has a huge smile for us and seems genuinely happy to meet The Gods Of Now. She is an actor though. No. She was really nice. So I tell her their is a CD and a nice tank top waiting for her up in Joe’s office. We assemble to take the pic.

I swear Alex J.D. was on my left. He was right there! As soon as we were going to take the picture I was putting my arm up to grab her to me. But Alex was there like the invisible man – holy shit! He moved like a jungle cat! But, sadly, we’re not in the jungle and actors like to be the center of attention. She says “Who’s the lead singer.” I smile at Alex and say slowly. “That would be me.” She snuggles in. And we take a nice pic. (see pic below). Ahhh, it’s good to be the singer, cuz we have to be the center of attention too.

We also take a pic with Dr. Mckay (David Hewlett) and Teyla (Rachel Luttrell) together too.

But, we gotta go. OH! Rachel takes off the sci-fi vest and KA-ZING!!! This woman is beautiful though! Damn, I’m feeling happy again. I’ve got to figure out this situational/conditional self-esteem thing. You can’t go through life like this and expect to be happy in the long run.

Do you think I’m shallow?

What would you do if you had all these thoughts of awareness and nudity? These waves of clarity and sexiness? These chains of self expression and porn? What would you do if you were me?

I drive for a bit then we stop and buy a Cheri mag. It’s better then Hustler. I miss porn mags. Now that their is internet porn. And don’t worry, there’s actually going to be a use for these mags. But it’s not conceptualized enough in my head to tell you about it yet. I will when it’s ready.

Jon takes over and Zasta is shot gun. Alex is sleeping in the back and I’m 2nd shot gun. I’m watching the Rockies take shape as we approach Kamloops. Tomorrow we play. Again. Sweet.

I feel like drinking nitro glycerin, eating sticks of dynamite and swallowing bullets. It passes with a swig of Jack.

Zasta mentioned the other day that we should have a contest. What would be a good contest? I mean, sure, everyone wants a tee shirt or a badge or poster. But seriously…

Jon had to stop to take a whiz. He couldn’t sit anymore. He was in pain. (see vid). So he stopped by the side of the road. And he didn’t flush. He feels like a new man!

We’re on empty. There was a warning that if you get on this hwy you better have enough to go 150 KM. We’ll see…

We make it to Kamloops and go to eat at East Side Mario’s – Sorry Joe, but that’s the best we can do on this budget. It’s friendly and filled with cute girls.

It’s attached to a mall so after we eat we go and hand out some stickers to get people to the show. We meet two girls who seem cool. But when I said hello I had to tell them that I wouldn’t hurt them before they even looked at me enough. One of ‘em gave me the peace sign. Nice brunette. The other one – a dirty blond chick, says she got banned from Malone’s pub. I don’t believe her though.

Now were off to some place called Sun Peaks Ski Resort. It’s a long way off and a crazy drive in the dark. Zasta is at the wheel. The road just keeps curving and we just keep driving. Eventually we find a little gem of a place in the middle of nowhere.

Manfred – little german dude checks us in. He takes his sweet time so over in the Banyion Alex is thinking that I’m talking to a girl. He comes in only to find Manfred. Needless to say he’s disappointed.

We check in and go up to a nice, clean big room with a cot and two double beds.

The Gods Of Now On Tour – Day 11

I open my eyes. I search for any psycho-residue. Nothing. I’m good.

I wake up. I go for breakfast with Alex. Delicious. He has 17 eggs and eats the chicken who laid them. He likes eggs. Just the whites of course.

I work on the computer in the room. It’s all very regimen and boring.

Jon and Zasta come in to Alex and my room after their breakfast. We move out.

We need to do our laundry (see pic) and there is this cute blonde who I’d love to talk to named Dawn. She laughs for no reason. It makes me like her more.

Alex and me go to get a coffee. We meet a girl named Katrina. There are two other girls there. One of them is a knock out and pregnant. They smell the air when I leave their area. They don’t think I’m looking. They say “It smells soooo good”. They’re talking about my cologne. They see me see then do that and say “Like, that’s creepy sorry.”. I say it’s creepy if you’re not cute. But you’re really cute so it’s not creepty.” I make them giggle. Nice. We get Greek salads and coffees for all of us. And a tea for Zasta. The young mom is totally hot. She’s got that pregnant glow to her. It’s a cliché but it’s the reality of it too. So totally beautiful.

We go to a little museum to send a post card. It costs 4 bucks to get in. It’s a good price and I want to go but I don’t have time.

Alex and me find a sex shop called something like “The Most Tasteful Adult Emporium in the West”. We’re just looking at all the fake pussies and lingerie when this older, but really hot woman serves us. Her name is Shelly. She’s a drummer. I say we’ll fire Zasta and hire her. It wouldn’t be the same – but it’d be fun. I sort of realize in the back of my head that we have time for this but not a museum. What a couple of slutty bastards we are.

Me and Alex go back to laundry. We all finish folding our clothes and leave.
Now we’re in Kamloops.

Drive to Cash Creek and eat Greek. This little place connected to the Sandman Inn. It wasn’t that great. And they over charged on Zasta’s salad. Jon is not feeling well after the lasagna he had. So this place was crap.

Our booking agent got us a spot on the bill for The Prophecy Of War (I’ll get you more info when I do). One show in Montreal and two in TO I think. This is great! Thanks dude. We’re all very anit-war. We were once asked if the Canadian Military could use our songs for a recrutement tape. At first we were like, “Yeah, government money! Sweet”. And then you think about the ethical implications. I wouldn’t want anyone to join the Military because of what we do. We discussed it and we very quickly agreed that we’d never do it. Not for a million dollars. So this – anit-war Art Show – we’re there.

We drive down through the Fraser Canyon. The moonlight is silver ice on everything. It makes me feel alone. We drive in silence. My thoughts are like a river. On the surface their is nothing but under is a raging current. And I’m fucking horny as hell. I think I’m fighting with a depression. Not a huge one. I could right a killer ballad right now.

We get to Chillawack. Stay in the Vedder River Inn. It sucked. Not only because the rooms were stark and cold. And their was no phone or internet. But two drunk coke-heads were scoping out the Banyion so that Jon slept in the Banyion keeping an eye out. Good man that Jon. Not only did he sacrifice his good night sleep for the safty of the gear but he also sold an EP for 5 bucks to one of the crack heads! Ha! One fucking fan at a time!! No problem here.

In the morning we’re up and out of there. We grab an okay breakfast at the Good Earth. The girl who took our order was so lovely. Perfect curves. Great ass, long legs and big tits. We hit the road and go to Vancouver.

My mind is still not itself. I’m fine. A little tired but I’m sooo looking forward to playing tonight. Gotta change the strings. I’ve used them on two shows already and they’re due to be changed.

Long hwy and we finally get down to Richmond where we’re staying. At the Travel Logde. Friendly smiling people. And there waiting for us after 2 years of long work was our CD!!! Holy fuck – It’s art. The poster inside is amazing. The artwork and burning logo – wow! The B&W pic of us on the inside is hypnotizing. This all came together so well. Just like everything we do.

Aiesha – whoa! What a knock-out, asks us for autographs so when we hit it she’ll sell them on ebay. Now this is a girl that’s thinking. I stop thinking with my cock for a bit and just enjoy the moment with my band and our finished work of art. What a great feeling.

In the room 316 – nice spacious and clean – we get on the comps. I call the Biltmore to see what time to be there. 7 is fine. That gives me about 4 hours to do every thing. More than enough time. Sweet.

I’m fucking so goddamn restless inside. I’m not my friend at this point in time.

Here, I have a question. When I have a hard on, does it mean I have to use it, or can I just be in the horny moment indefinitely? There’s something Tantric in here I think. I’ll ask Zasta and get his opinion too. I mean. Sure, if you wait long enough and are sitting with a spike in your drawers, after a while it hurts – that’s where you get the songs that say, “Baby, I feel blue, I really want be with you!” come from. What do you think those guys want? To be cheered up? I think it would be futile to whack off. I do that and I’m back in 2 min. Blow job? Nice, if it’s done well, but kind of unfulfilling unless she brings her friend. Double spit shine! Fuck. No, I mean, sex! Straight up. Boring unless you’re in a relationship for any length of time – am I write girls? I think so too. You know a persons curves and spaces. The moves and sways. Mmm, the smell of sensuality between histories. Yeah, baby, I know how it is. Why would I even think of getting it that way with some strange pussy. I’m not. So what the hell? Rock is rock and rocks are rock.

With this on my mind (more on that later) we pile into the Banyion and go to the show. It’s a place called The Biltmore. Great venue, newly refurbished. It was a really nice show and a great turn out for a Wednesday night, according to the people there who say no one comes out.

The whole night my hands were sticky. I’m sure it was psychotic-residue from these bad dreams I’m having and my need for attention. I think I should be on medication. I’ve thought this before but the tug in the back of my mind is back. Just a little bit of a relaxed state might do me a world of good. I’ll talk to my doc when I get back home.

I sit with the lead singer of Magnus Rising for a bit. We talk biz while Zasta and Jon go for a bite to eat. They bring me back a salad. It’s good. Alex is over there talking with an old friend who moved out here. (see pic).

We played and my guitar cable broke. It happens. Next show I’ll fix it and it will be killer. It didn’t feel good but time will take care of it. I was so busy trying to figure out why the hell my Guitar wasn’t’ working that I didn’t perform my usual best. Excuses, I know. But like I say – next week, we’ll forget all about it. So I go and have a drink with Nicole after we play. She is studying Peace and Conflict and is the bar tender at the Biltmore. She’s very nice.

The other bands were great (it feels good to finally be playing with bands that are high level enough to have their own thing going on) – especially Magnus Rising – Newfoundlanders who’d stab you if you spill their beer – Matt just said so. No, these guys were really great people. I’ve never met a Newfoundlander that I didn’t like. 

In fact – speaking of Newfoundlanders, Kyla, a friend of Magnus Rising and a cute Newfoundlander herself, was nice enough to sit with our merch when we played just in case anyone bought anything – their weren’t many people – but we did sell a few of our new CD’s. That poster inside fucking kicks ass.

Flood of Fire were also good. There influences of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest being very apparent. Energy level at 100%.

We’re going to play with Throttlecaster again in Kamloops. I’m not sure but I think the guy is Swedish or something. He has a strange accent and looks like Jesus if Jesus was cool and drank hard liquor.

Speaking of Liquor I drink a shot with Magnus Rising. I tell them I was Skreetched in years ago when I played St. John’s. “Long my your big jib draw” is what tourists are told to say apparently (I said that too) because Matt said what Newfoundlander’s actually say, when they drink screetch is, “Shut da fook up and drank”. Yeah!

We load up after saying bye to Denver (bouncer) who told us which strip bars are good – 50 bucks to touch a girl! Holy shit! It’s about 10 bucks in Montreal – depending on where you go. I miss Montreal!

We Tetris up the Banyion and head for some food. I soooo want attention. I’m really aware of it – doesn’t help. I still totally want attention!! I’ll throw my tastes at the moment into food – mmmm – Chinese Fast Food next to Duffin’s Donuts! Ohhhh this place rocked my world. They were selling the days left overs (the stuff they didn’t sell at super time) for half price! We ate a feast of noodles, curry chicken and tofu pork for 10 bucks!!! It was amazing. I went for another plate of curry shrimp vermicelli for 4 bucks. We picked at it but couldn’t finish it.

Now I’m sitting here thinking of you baby. I don’t know what to do about this situational self-esteem issue I have. My cable is no indication of who I am but I feel like I’m nothing right now. It’s what I’ve gone through before – my whole life. Years of this shit. I used to drown it in so much. Now I write about it.

And things happen for a reason. I love the idea of being hard on myself in this blog. I love letting you know that I’m a stupid fuck who can’t perform and who sucks ass too. We both know that’s not true. I’m just harder on myself than on anyone I see. In reality, it’s good – but in my head – I’m the worst fucking lame ass performer you’ll ever see. So begins the assassination my own character. I take aim. I shoot. I die. I lay dormant for a moment. And then I’m reborn.

And that’s the key – I had an off night. We all do. We’ll just do it again and it’ll kick ass. That’s how it works.

But don’t worry baby. I’ll be okay. I want attention but I’m getting lots of it knowing that you’re reading this. It keeps me straight and level. Just don’t worry.

It’s 3:30 am.

I’m having relationships with the girls in Hustler Magazine. I’m a slut and that’s all right. PornoZing and a love song!

Good night.

The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 10

I have a dream about the Banyion driving into a lake. We’re surrounded by people who are so sympathetic. But in my state I don’t feel any comfort from them. I feel abandoned. I feel completely guilty again. For something I didn’t do. My subconscious is once again dicking me around.

PSYCHOTIC EPISODE # 3

Morality is a point of view. I really think if you want to live nice and friendly do good things for people. Be unselfish. Only tell people what they want to hear and shut the hell up if you have something to say. I feel guilty because I’m none of these things. I’m crazy, fucking, Schrecker. Who is making me feel guilty? I am. I’m the one. I’m neither unselfish, or nice. I’m a bad man. And I like bad things. Is this catharsis or a search? Am I setting up situations so I have no choice but to follow through so I will make myself fail my life?

END PSYCHOTIC EPISODE #3

I wake up! Holy shit! What time is check out? I forgot to ask! I’m not paying for another fucking day! Can’t afford it yet. 2X4 to the back of the head and I go back to sleep.

I wake up to Jon’s vibrating fucking phone! This thing makes all my muscles tense. It puts me in the mood for getting some killing done. I ask him to please take it off vibrate from now on. He won’t. He thinks it’s funny. It is.

We get up. We check our emails and move out.

We go next door to a Husky for breakfast. Good solid meal. I have my two pads of peanut butter and we order. Bacon and eggs. Alex has ham. I have three eggs. We both have rye toast but only after Alex hears her offer it to me and not to him. He takes it personally. That she knew it was him so she didn’t offer it. I agreed. I love it when people take things personally like I do. I’m getting really good at not doing that. It’s an excruciating exercise in mental control but it’s worth it if you try.

We talked about the fact that life on the road is taxing both mentally and physically. You have to be a truck driver, a mover, a gear tech, a musician, a performer, a porn star. Then Jon says “And a maid”. I say “what? Why a maid”. Alex says “Cuz you gotta clean shit off the floor!” Ahahahahaha! Awwwww, fuck, I’m a living joke.

We’re driving. Jon is at the wheel. I’m feeling okay. No psychotic stuff today except when I woke up. I guess that means I’m happy. We pass the Banff exit again and we’re off to Lake Louise. (See pix).

Pix or words can do nothing to tell you about the Rocky Mountains of Canada. It’s something that makes sense. That’s all.

We see a sign for Johnston Canyon so we stop. It’s a Canyon. Let’s see it.

We go up a path and hear water falling. Every turn brings us a new more intense beauty. (see pix). Their are two women who are hiking up to the top. Leanne from Calgary and Miki from Japan (she’s leaving in 10 days). Zasta finds a great connection with Leanne. She’s very earthy and Zasta is disposed to this.

They go on ahead and TGON looks at nature. The air is amazing. The water is gorgeous. The sound is inspiring. Heavenly. Zasta say “creation is completely chaotic.”. That’s so true. You look at it’s detail and each thing, say a tree, could be repeated to the exclusion of all else. Perfect order. But one thing is not nature. Many different patterns and things and whatever. It all adds up to everything. I love that. I love EVERYTHING.

The air is over oxygenating us. I don’t believe it – but their is a theory that if you push enough oxygen into your body it will fire synapses that have been dormant all your life. Will this air bring back memories?

I walk with Leanne a bit. I feel she wants to tell me something but she doesn’t tell me a thing. She has piercing blue eyes. Nice body too.

A raven is there (see pic) I learn from him. He says “Whatever, it’s all the way it’s supposed to be, fucker. Look at me – I’m a fucking raven and I know more about how to be me than you. You want to learn. Observe me.”

I’m Schrecker. What does that mean? Hmm. “Whatever, it’s all the way it’s supposed to be, fucker. Look at me. I’m fucking Schrecker and I know more about me than you. You want to learn. Observe me.”.

It was nice sharing the waterfalls with Leanne and Miki. Girls make everything better.

We say good bye from far away. She tells Zasta to look up ravens on the internet. Alex, ahh, our Alex. He says “What, she’s gonna give us a quiz the next time we see her?” Zasta was very happy to have met her.

Lake Louise. Oh my god! This must be the most beautiful lake on the tourist path in Canada. The water is fridged cold – down to 10 C in winter. But the color. It’s the rock flour that the glaciers make over tens of thousands of years of picking up stones and crushing them to dust. When the water melts the dust suppresses all the colors in the spectrum except for the vivid teal color. (see pic).

We walk around it. Incredible. We find a spot and shed the shoes. Got to get in there. It’s horrendous, knife-torture, charnel house of pain for our feet. First it’s Zasta and Schrecker. Then it’s Alex and Jon. We get out feeling the sunshine on our feet. Great!

I get a call about a blog from montreal:

DISCLAIMER and ZEITGEIST

We talk in the lobby of the Splendid Lake Louis about the whole issue of censorship and controversy. Prozac and manipulation. Power and words. Music and life.

We stop at a little restaurant under the mountain at Lake Louise. Inside it’s very log cabin. But it’s the only place that has a plate under 22 bucks so Alex, Zasta and Jon get Buffalo burgers and I get a mountain sized Caesar Salad. Their was such a cute brunette there. Just the kind Zasta likes. Dark, glasses, beautiful. Their was a blond there too. She was very VERY rock and roll. The kind of girl everybody loves! She was standing with her two co-workers (she’s a bartender) so I walk up and say “Hey girls what’s going on”.

I find out that Kate is from Australia. She’s had it after a month of Lake Louise. It does seem a little quiet for a girl like Kate. She wants to go to Winnipeg so we talk about her about being our merch girl (she’s a bombshell so she’d be great at it. We’ll just slap those hotshorts on her and Kerplow! You’d buy anything from her.) We’ll give her a ride and she’ll sell our merch. We’ll see.

We’re done and we move out to Revelstoke. We pull in at the Powder Springs Hotel. The woman at the desk says “You’re a long way from home so we want you to have a rest!” She gives us two rooms – that’s a bed each. Tells us the all you can eat breakfast buffet is included and that the hot tub and Sauna are going to be left open for us to use. All for a room rate. I almost dropped to my knees with gratitude. She also mentions that she books the Mountain Fest there and she’d love to hear what we do. Some people are the salt of the earth. This woman was one of them. If any band needs to stop in Revelstoke stop at The Powder Springs. It’s a workers Hotel and they understand what it means to be away from home. They’re incredible there.

We move into our rooms. Zasta and Jon together. Me and Alex. We head on down to the hot tub (Alex is going to workout a bit first).

This is our first tour. The hot tub drains away the cares. Alex joins us. I tell them about some of my “first tour” experiences. Sitting in a parking lot in North Carolina with no gas in the van and the gig was cancelled due to the bar being closed by the authorities. No sleep. No nothing. Had to track down the owner for 20 bucks for gas.

I snap out of it and I get up to go to the sauna. Ahhh! That feels just fine.

Done. Back in the room. I shower and hit the sack. Great beds. Soft sheets. Clean as a whistle. I grab the computer and write. I sort of remember spelling words 8 times before I realize I’m too tired to think straight.

I fall asleep.

The Gods of Now On Tour – Day 9

I wake up thinking I’m hiding too much of who I really am from you readers. I think that this is entertainment but it’s also everything I’m going through. It’s defiantly entertaining to me. I still wonder if I’ll make it out of here in one piece. You cannot achieve the aim without suffering. But that sucks man ass too.

Time to check out and get Alex a sleeping bag at Canadian tire. We’ll get him it on the way to Banff. We all load up the Banyion and I take the keys to the front desk.

Their’s no one there. I say…”Hello?” When this beautiful woman named Melanie appears before me. “Ahhhh!” I say. And she starts laughing because she scared the shit out of me. She says “I’m sorry for scaring you!” I say “It’s funnier than you think!”. Besides she’s too pretty to hold anything against.

Jon lost his glasses and needs to buy a pair. We do this without a problem. I buy a cigar and we go. Speaking of losing things I notice that something’s not there. Something’s gone… missing.

My Flipcam. We try to look everywhere but we have to stop. Zasta says we should stop in LeDuc just in case we can’t find it – it might be at the bar.

We stop and find everything. Yay! We’re ecstatic.

We see a turn off for Wetaskawin. This town is all about raking the tailings. That’s a machinist term for cleaning up after your done –I think. Alex knows.

At the Canadian Tire; for Alex and his sleeping bag. We see Alex he looks happy now that he’s got his new sack with him. But he brings out Charlie who he happened to bump into. We say hello and she wishes us a great trip. She’s very bouncy. Nice.

Now we’re all hungry. When this band gets hungry we all become cranky. We’re still civil to each other but soon we’re going to knife fights to the death if we don’t get grub.

Their’s a Smitty’s. This place will do. We walk in and there are 6 of the cutest girls you’ve ever seen standing at the cash. What, are they a family? They could be. One of them asks me if my piercing hurt. She’s going to get one done. I say “It hurt like a bitch. You better be wasted when you get it done…” She gets us coffee.

Smitty’s is a great breakfast place. They give you a lot and it tastes great. And in Wetaskawin – it’s probably the best looking waitresses in the West. Of course, pretty is pretty and these girls make me feel old. Which is fine cuz I’m going to see mountains and if we don’t see any mountain men I’m going to strip down and run around the woods saying “Gold! I found gold! Eehhhhhheeeeeeee!” Maybe knock out a tooth or two.

We enter the mountains and we’re done. Oh my fucking god! We’re all slack jawed dumb with it. And I’ve been here tons of times. I say “this is just the outer rim, wait!” There’s a sexual connotation in there but the majesty of the mountains is majestic – anus!!!

I don’t have to take my clothes off and run around in the woods! We see Jake the Mountain man.

Actually I say, when we approach a particularly majestic, majestic mountain “Look at that mountain, man!” Jon says “Fuck!” And I say “No look at that mountain man!”

The Myth Of The Mountain Man

There are mountain men and mountain women. Mountain women are Amazonian Canadian girls, mostly brunettes who have opted out the pansie modern world and have made a Utopia, a Shangri-La of pulchritude in the far reaches of the Rockies. But to keep their tribe of vixen alive they come down to Banff (cuz that’s were we’re going now) and kidnap 4 men (cuz that’s how many we are) to go and impregnate all the tribe members. When they are done they bring you back to civilization and send you on your way with a knitted sweater and their old panties. It’s a sweet deal.

Now there’s all kinds of social hierarchy in their tribe and they all have synced their cycles so their’s sweaty cage matches at least once a month but that’s not important to hear about just now.

What IS important to hear about – and the point of all of this is…

Every so often a guy, with stars in his eyes and a boner in his pants, goes off looking for said mythical Canadian tribe of sex pots. They never return. But, so the story goes. One or two did get there and see with their own eyes the fabulous events of tribal ritual and girl on girl action. But he was never able to participate. He was, in essence, teased to insanity. He became feral. Running through the woods waving his genitals at anyone he saw. Thus Jake the Mountain Man was born.

So ends the Myth of the Mountain Man.

We go to Banff. What a city. Geezuz! The beauty of this little place. Zasta seems like he’s in heaven. He’s been here before too so his memories are great. And now he is very much in the now.

We want to eat. We go to the very place Zasta had played when he was here before. Wild Bill’s. It’s a rock and roll place with a great kitchen. And it’s big and spacious. We need to play here.

Our waitress is Amy. Elle vient de Montreal!!! Ahhh, how we all miss the girls of our town. She makes us home sick. We eat – Jon has Elk and says it’s FUCKING AWESOME.

Jena is another waitress there. She’s sweet. And then their’s Zasta’s favorite – “Long Torso Sally” which we quickly start singing.

Jon says he’s homesick. Yeah bro me too. But the best way to combat that – kill brain cells. I’ve been trying for years to kill all of mine. I seem to only have jumbled them up a whole fucking lot.
We’re all restless. Maybe you’re starting to get the pattern of behavior we have. When we get this way – we need to play. But tonight, we’re going to Aurora. A club in Banff. But first we need to get our hotel.

It’s called the Big Horn Inn. Ha! Couldn’t have been better named. And the family who owns it are sooooo nice. They saw that we were four guys and instead of giving us the ubiquitous two big beds and a cot (there is a very formal rotation amongst Zasta, Jon and Alex as to who gets the cot) they gave us “THE PARTY ROOM”. Those are the words of the sweet Indian lady who owns the place with her husband. This is great.

We walk in and KAWOW!!! The place is huge. Three double beds and a single (Zasta gets that cuz he came in last). Kitchen, bathroom! Fantastic. We’re all feeling very energized. On the other side of the front window is a majestic mountain. Whoa! Majestic!

We pimp ourselves up. We put on our Grills! Now, their are poser bands who have the current haircuts or the pedo bands who look like they’re 15 or at least trying to look like they’re 15. The Gods Of Now are guys in a band and have taste. We dress and look the part. There is nothing fake here. We are men who play heavy music. We have scars, tats, piercings and a defined image. We are who we are. And now we’re going out.

To Banff.

We go to Aurora.

INTERESTING THING YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU’RE GOING OUT TO A CLUB IN ALBERTA:

They need a valid I.D. – and they WON’T accept a health card. Umm. Why? I can’t tell you. But our Alex doesn’t carry around his passport – (you can hear him shouting in the back ground: “I’m in Canada dumb ass!”), nor does he have his driver’s license. So – he can’t get in. What??? The bouncer doesn’t actually ask anyone for their age, just their I.D. card.

The bouncer won’t budge. I don’t blame him. I ain’t paying him 20 bucks and he doesn’t have a context for us. If he heard the music he’d open the door. I’m okay with it. We send Jon and Zasta in to scope the joint to see what’s what. I’m with Alex and we go down the street to some upper floor lounge type thing. Boring. We leave.

Jon and Zasta went and looked in Aurora and said it looked great. But if we weren’t going… I told ‘em they should go see who they could meet. Alex agreed. It’s only one street after all, if we get lost or it gets late we’ll either be here or in the Banyion.

Alex and me go to a pub where guys (too young to be old and too old to be cool) were playing shitty music. Alex is upset that it’s cuz of him we’re not in Aurora’s. Fuck, if my night is made or broke by going to a club I’d put salt in my eyes. I tell him it’s nothing. There’s going to be a shit load of clubs better than that one by the time we’re dead.
Listening to the band I wish I was dead right now. I shake my head at Alex. He doesn’t even know what I’m thinking (or does he) and he says “This band is fucking awful”. And we talk about the irony of the situation. This band sucks balls and we’re listening to them and THEY are getting paid to play. This is an unjust world. And this is the way it is. Life has such a fucking amazing sense of fucking humor! This makes me think of starving and hurting people all over the place. The tortured world we live in. I can live with the injustice of the music biz. It’s so fucking small, comparatively speaking.

We are soooo on. Our job as performers is to push out our selected vibe. We’ve selected a vibe here tonight. I can think of about 20 girls that I know personally who would have cum just sitting beside us. Guys were literally pulling girls away from us as they walked towards us to talk. Geeze dude, why don’t you just piss on her.

JON FACT #2

He likes blonde girls with pony-tails and glasses.

Alex and I get sick of Crappy The Jug band playing at the pub and walk down the street and find a rocker bar. This is better. More out of control. Everyone seems to be a stoner or the girlfriend of a stoner. Alex and I think we should have a band at this point so I go and get Jon and Zasta.

I go to Aurora. The bouncer remembers me and lets me through the line. I go up the stairs and see the cute blond coat check girl. I say I need to grab my two friends. I give her my I.D. and go in.

Oh fuck. I feel like I’m one of these kiddie’s dad. “HilaryAshlyBeckyJennyKatelyn! get your 13 year old ass out of here and into the car! And cover up that ‘My daddy fucked me and I liked it” tee shirt!

Geeze – this is the polar opposite world to the one I live in. I’ve been invited to and went to Madonna’s club in NYC, I’ve played Aerosmith’s club in Boston, I’ve been to the best Industrial Goth club in Detroit (the vampires in there!!!) no less – none of those made me feel like I was creepy. But this was like walking into a Disco Daycare. The I.D. forging business must be thriving in Banff.

I find the guys. They both look at me and say “They’re all little kids! We’re just coming to you guys.”. They did meet a bunch from Montreal. And the service girls were smoking hot. But it’s pointless. Board and boring all together. YAY!

I come back up to the top of the stairs to get my I.D. back from the blonde coat checker. She says “Did you find your band?” I’m not surprised that she asks this. I pretty much knew that Jon and Zasta would’ve already spotted this one. (see vid) Spreading the word about The Gods Of Now comes normally. I introduce myself and then leave.

We go back to see Alex. He’s sitting with his ale. Ha! We sit down and everyone who was all around us move to one side of the bar. We think we should keep moving closer until everyone is all piled up on each other in one corner.

We meet girls. We always meet girls cuz we love ‘em and treat them well. We’re in love with the feminine vibe! I’m not in this anymore though. Their’s redhead and Indie-music girl (see vid) and this hot Rihanna-looking chick. They wanted us to go with them to Aurora – oh no, that’s not for me. I pull back from it and smoke my cigar. It feels very good being here at this moment. The Indie-Girl is all “Ohmygawd you guys are an indie band. Indie bands rock cuz that’s where the talent is you know!” I agree with everything she says but she doesn’t have a shut off. (see vid). She plays guitar. She’s wearing a very nice dress.

I watch them trying to get Alex past bouncer Nazi guy. I shake my head. I want to play. It’s always soooo much better when I’m playing. Okay, I’m bored. I want to go.

We move out without a goodbye. No friends here. Just experience. That’s okay. That’s more than okay.

I’m driving and thinking about how classic it is. A heavy band with a PARTY ROOM and no one to party with. But then I remember. We’re not here to party. We are the party. We need to view what’s around us so we can push it back out to people. All experience is necessarily life changing. Even the little things make up the big things. We are about to deal with our cosmic place. Our position in the universe. The Universe in front of us.

“Okay, we’re stopping now”. I stop the Banyion under the open Universe. Suspended by void. We are in darkness and light is above us. Like being deep in an ocean and looking up to the sun shining off the surface. We stand there.

Jon, Alex and Zasta (who are a little drunk) will not stop talking. They fill the silence with shouts and phrases of awe. I love it! This is human expression at it best. The universe is pushing us all to the ground. The light is continuous. Pure. A million years of creation thrown at us each second that passes by. Jon is pointing out stars and planets. Names in French. Names I’ve never heard before for star clusters I’ve known my whole life. It makes them all brand new. We are standing on the edge of All creation.

Insignificance of existence. We are nothing and a bag of chips. We are not alone in this. It is impossible. There must be some group of aliens called “lsdkfj” who are looking at the sky from their planet wondering why they have a PARTY ROOM but no party.

We get back in the Baynion dizzy with the air and the fucking point of this. Just to exist is enough. Like starlight we are here. Enjoy it.

We’re hungry. That’s what you get for existing. We go get pizza at Domino’s in Canmore. We have a collective Violent fantasy about being bored. It translates itself into Jon unplugging the “Open” sign. Poor guys are gonna be wondering why their is so little foot traffic coming in.

There are three stoners in there with us. They eat way too much greasy food and look like they’re gonna be heading to Vancouver in the next couple of years. They think it’s cool we’re in a band. They go outside and scope the Banyion. Me and Alex go out and they run off. Little fuckers. Hilarious.

On the way back to the room with the pizza. Domino’s is good road pizza – especially at night in the middle of the Rockies. Recommended. On the way we talk about the next level. The bigger Banyion. Having a driver. Tom – the ultimate wing man goes out for Pizza and comes back with 6 girls. Oh yeah. I make the simplest and most profound statement I’ve ever made. I say “It’s easier when someone else does it for you”.

We get back. We eat the pizza and Jon tells us that there’s a Super Volcano under North America and if it blows (which it could at any minute) we’re all magma. It has a pleasant little name called Yellowstone. Yeah, thanks Jon.

Good night.